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The Programming Bus

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Invited round for a cup of tea, the friend's house is two bus stops away. His house is then directly opposite from the bus stop.
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Assembly-guy is off to his workshop. He immediately starts on his blueprints for the bus's design. He'll need to order all of the materials for his bus, to be delivered as needed. An initial estimate is that it will take a year. Unfortunately, he cannot drive, so allows an additional 2 months and 2 days to learn. No recent contact has been established.

C-guy departs immediately and catches the bus. He pushes the driver off the bus, revs the engine and puts his foot down. Two passengers immediately fall off the back of the bus (remember the old London buses, with the open back?). During the short journey two pedestrians receive critical injuries. On later questioning C-guy states that the level of injuries were not disproportionate given the parameters of his journey.

C++ guy catches the bus and provides a map and instructions for the driver. The instructions include the estimated journey-time, based on average known-times, traffic-flow surveys, estimated boarding-times per passenger. C++ guy insists on standing adjacent to the driver during the journey.

Java-guy meets the bus, but checks must be performed before departure. Clipboard in hand, he proceeds to check the tyre-pressures, tread-depths, to confirm the presence of required safety equipment, and to study the on-board evacuation procedures.

C#-guy is not far behind Java-guy. He observes, and is interested in, the checks that Java-guy performs - but not enough to do anything about them himself. Eventually they both take a seat on the bus. C#-guy, however, ensures that he is seated nearer to the exit - he has no intention of de-bussing after Java-guy.

PHP-guy cannot decide between the bus, his car, a taxi, a helicopter.. he misses all of them. In his confused state he wanders aimlessly. Later we discover he was one of the pedestrian casualties of C-guy.

Python-guy catches his bus, goes to his mate's house, has some tea. Nothing to see here!

Ruby-guy catches the bus but doesn't get off. He continues to the bus-terminus and waits for the return journey, realising that he will no longer have to cross the road.

Javascript-guy catches a bus and gets off after two stops. This dude ain't bovvered!

VB.NET-guy takes a taxi. Others criticise his profligacy but he just smiles in response.

VB6-guy doesn't have the bus-fare.

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I've missed a few, feel free to contribute a missing member ;)

4 Comments On This Entry

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jon.kiparsky Icon

31 January 2014 - 03:34 PM
ML guy defines "bus" and calls it a day. His definition of bus is perfect, and that was really all he was after.
The web developer went to catch the bus, but a friend drove by and gave him a ride instead. Unfortunately, his friend was driving an Explorer, and it crashed.
The linux kernel hacker gets on the bus, and when it stops for a red light he takes it apart and rebuilds it so it works better. But only if the bus doesn't charge you anything to get on it. (no problem - the bus company makes their money selling timetables and ads on the side of the buses)
Lisp guy gets on the bus, and the first stop isn't his friend's stop, so he waits and eventually there's a stop that is his friend's stop and then he gets off.
Haskell guy didn't actually get invited anywhere. Would you invite a Haskell guy over? Thought not.
Prolog guy got on the bus if the bus was the right bus to take him to a stop such that the stop was his friend's stop, and then was completely hosed because he can't really deal with time.
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AdamSpeight2008 Icon

31 January 2014 - 07:53 PM
Haskell is still in bed because they're lazy.
VB.net takes their lambretta scooter to work, other "proper bikers" laugh. Thinks they're laughing at the pink helmet.
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Michael26 Icon

01 February 2014 - 08:37 AM
Brainf*ck gets on and is amused how bulky the bus is, which prompts him to reinvent a new minimalistic bus that challenges the boundaries of bus design, the bus is now just string of pipes and engine below the passengers seats(which is limited to 2). There is no actual application of this bus design in real traffic, he just did it as a joke.
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jon.kiparsky Icon

01 February 2014 - 11:51 AM

Michael26, on 01 February 2014 - 10:37 AM, said:

Brainf*ck gets on and is amused how bulky the bus is, which prompts him to reinvent a new minimalistic bus that challenges the boundaries of bus design, the bus is now just string of pipes and engine below the passengers seats(which is limited to 2). There is no actual application of this bus design in real traffic, he just did it as a joke.


Ook likes Brainfuck's joke, and decides to do it again. So does Whitespace.
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