Pretty simple and everything. Got a good joke? Post it here!

Here is one that isn't much of a joke but I still find humorous:


<edit>
Made the topic broader
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This post has been edited by BetaWar: 19 Aug, 2008 - 04:05 PM

I don't get it.

Remember Picabo Street?

The famous Olympic skier Picabo Street
(pronounced Pee-Ka-Boo)
is not just an athlete ... she is now a nurse
currently working at an Intensive Care Unit
of a large me tropolitan hospital.
She is not permitted to answer the hospital telephones any longer.
It caused too much confusion when she would answer the phone and say,
Picabo, I.C.U.

Best as I can tell it 's a computer joke about declaring your class variables PRIVATE....

Ding ding ding whizzy is correct!

Here's a few geeky jokes

Q: What's a polar bear?
A: A rectangular bear after a coordinate transform!

Q: How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: 0.99999...

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a banana?
A: Elephant banana cosine theta perpendicular to both, oriented via the right hand rule.

So's your face.

Thanks whizzy, now that I get it, that's hilarious.


**adult joke**

(added highlight)


Two prostitutes are standing on a street corner.
The first one says "It's going to be a great night!"
"Why?" asked the second
"I can smell the cock in the air" replies the first.
"Oh sorry, I burped..."

edited since gabe's idea made good sense

This post has been edited by KYA: 25 Aug, 2008 - 02:48 PM

** another adult joke **

(highlight)

Why did the man buy his wife a coat and a dildo for her birthday?
He figured if she didn't like the coat, she could go fuck herself.

LOL

Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day he drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died."

Chuck replied, "Well, then just give me my money back."

The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."

Chuck said, "Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey."

The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him?"

Chuck said, "I'm going to raffle him off."

The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"

Chuck said, "Sure I can, watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."

A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, "What
happened with that dead donkey?"

Chuck said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898.00."

The farmer said, "Didn't anyone complain?"

Chuck said, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."

That's more of a story than a joke. Seriously, it was good, but it really wasn't funny.

It was both funny and entertaining

That story was full of win

A man and his wife go deer hunting together. They split up, with the wife on one side of the woods and the husband on the other.
Suddenly the woman spots a huge deer, takes aim and fires. The deer falls instantly. She goes running up to it when she sees a man standing next to it, looking stunned to see her. She tells him, "back away from my deer, mister." He tells her, "I'm sorry ma'am but that's my..." She cuts him off and says again, "no. It is mine. Get away from it." He protests again, "but it's my..." And again she cuts him off. She cocks the gun, aims it at his head and says, "I said that deer is mine. You better get away from it." So he puts up his hands as he tells her, "Yes, ma'am. That deer is yours. Take it. But please, let me get my saddle off him first."

This post has been edited by OliveOyl3471: 26 Aug, 2008 - 04:32 AM

Jokes are not always a question, with a punch line. An amusing story that is funny could be considered to be a joke... for story of the night you were conceived was funny as hell....


The company boss was complaining in a staff meeting that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read:

"I'm the Boss!"

He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said:

"Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"


Here's anoth one I like...

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

Another adult joke: (highlight)

This woman is sick and tired of her husband, just going to the pub with his mates every day, and not showing any sexual interest in her. One day, he comes back home, and tells her to strip off. Excited, she hurries to do so. He then tells her to do a handstand up against the mirror. The woman thinks this is a strange request, but is too excited to resist. Then, the man walks towards her slowly, and rests his chin on her pussy. "The lads were right." He said. "A beard wouldn't suit me."

LMFAO

Yet another adult joke:

(highlight)
A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, "Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?" The wife replies, "Cut it off and shove it up his arse!" The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, "It fucking hurts doesn't it!"