When & where do you draw the line?

Friends in the workplace.

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#1 no2pencil  Icon User is online

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When & where do you draw the line?

Posted 06 February 2010 - 12:34 PM

As the saying goes, never shit where you eat.

Throughout my professional career I always catered to the rule that you don't make friends at work, & don't bring your personal business into work. Sometimes it's hard, or seem cold hearted to ignore a cry from help from a co-worker.

How do you deal (or have had to deal) with a higher up either wanting to be your friend, or rejecting your offer for friendship, such as ticket to a game, concert, or other gathering outside of the workplace?

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#2 JackOfAllTrades  Icon User is offline

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Re: When & where do you draw the line?

Posted 06 February 2010 - 12:35 PM

Malware, of course! ;)
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#3 no2pencil  Icon User is online

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Re: When & where do you draw the line?

Posted 06 February 2010 - 12:38 PM

uhm. Wut?
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#4 snoj  Icon User is offline

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Re: When & where do you draw the line?

Posted 06 February 2010 - 12:47 PM

Simple, I've told my boss my own experiences about being in a leadership position and how trying to be friends with my underlings negatively affected everyone's work.
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#5 AdamSpeight2008  Icon User is offline

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Re: When & where do you draw the line?

Posted 06 February 2010 - 12:59 PM

A great leader should know when someone under them needs them to be their friend and when not to be.
The work together, play together philosophy is fine up to a point.
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#6 Sethro117  Icon User is offline

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Re: When & where do you draw the line?

Posted 06 February 2010 - 03:00 PM

I try to befriend upper management. Not ones who directly supervise me or anything but people who have connections, I like to network. Its helped my career tremendously, and since they aren't directly over me we haven't had a problem. People who are over me though I try to keep it professional. Of course, my ex was one of my supervisors and there was never a problem outside of work or at work after I moved to another team. So it all depends on the scenario I guess.
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#7 macosxnerd101  Icon User is online

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Re: When & where do you draw the line?

Posted 06 February 2010 - 10:25 PM

@Sethro: Consider yourself lucky to have such a professional ex, as I would think that after you break up with someone, especially if they are your supervisor, that they would go out of their way to make your life miserable.

I think the work together, play together philosophy depends a lot on the coworkers and the workplace environment. I know at my Dad's store, a lot of the employees hang out after hours (my uncle and one of the employees used to bowl together, and there was also a bowling team from the store with my grandfather- the boss at the time- on the team). We've even invited a couple of the employees to events like my brother's bar mitzvah. However, probably the one thing about my dad's store is that he and my cousin are the two bosses/owners, so there aren't a lot of politics about supervisors and whatnot. In short though, if your workplace is condusive to friendships after hours, great; but if it's not, then don't do something that will blow up in your face.
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#8 Martyn.Rae  Icon User is offline

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Re: When & where do you draw the line?

Posted 06 February 2010 - 11:08 PM

I once got intimate with a mainframe computer I worked with ... we slept together (least I slept on top of her). She was lovely and warm and was always there on dark nights in a cold temperature regulated computer room. I remember, she used to love me feeding her data. She said I pressed all the right buttons.

Upper management were quite happy with this arrangement as the affair did not affect our working relationship.

Sadly, it didn't last!!

This post has been edited by Martyn.Rae: 06 February 2010 - 11:17 PM

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#9 PsHYk209  Icon User is offline

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Re: When & where do you draw the line?

Posted 06 February 2010 - 11:15 PM

me personally it depends on the people... me being in the military lower enlisted cannot associate...outside of work... with higher enlisted or officers. Though some people still do it just depends on if you can keep work and your personal life separate... me i talk to some of the people in charge of me outside of work but at work they are still in charge of me and i dont try to get around doing stuff because they are my friends... i guess it depends on the situation... ive never had a problem though with hanging out with my leaders and there are people i know who have...
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#10 baavgai  Icon User is offline

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Re: When & where do you draw the line?

Posted 07 February 2010 - 05:15 AM

I'm friendly at work. I never see any co workers outside of that.

My big rule, though, it never do an office party. Primarily, seeing the people you work with drunk is just never a good idea.
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#11 Theaegd  Icon User is offline

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Re: When & where do you draw the line?

Posted 07 February 2010 - 08:21 AM

Quote

Sadly, it didn't last!!

Sorry about that. Let me guess, it was a mac?
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#12 JackOfAllTrades  Icon User is offline

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Re: When & where do you draw the line?

Posted 07 February 2010 - 08:29 AM

Quote

How do you deal (or have had to deal) with a higher up either wanting to be your friend, or rejecting your offer for friendship, such as ticket to a game, concert, or other gathering outside of the workplace?


Sorry, my response was a joking one in response to this line question.
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#13 macosxnerd101  Icon User is online

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Re: When & where do you draw the line?

Posted 07 February 2010 - 11:04 AM

View PostTheaegd, on 07 February 2010 - 11:21 AM, said:

Quote

Sadly, it didn't last!!

Sorry about that. Let me guess, it was a mac?


I don't know. If it ended due to a virus being transmitted, I'd have to guess that it was a Windows machine. Probably Vista if I had to guess. :p
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#14 OliveOyl3471  Icon User is offline

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Re: When & where do you draw the line?

Posted 08 February 2010 - 06:45 AM

When you don't make friends at all, it is quite easy not to make friends at work. I don't see the problem here.
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#15 Sethro117  Icon User is offline

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Re: When & where do you draw the line?

Posted 08 February 2010 - 07:30 AM

We don't have office parties anymore. I was told they used to every year at one of the managers houses. But one year a fight broke out and that ended that.
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