This Crap Needs To Stop!

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56 Replies - 7992 Views - Last Post: 13 October 2010 - 12:21 PM

#1 NeoTifa  Icon User is offline

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This Crap Needs To Stop!

Posted 08 October 2010 - 09:42 AM

http://www.daytondai...and-971552.html

Really? 4 kids from the same school kill themselves due to bullying. In the first story, the kids who bullied that one girl laughed at her during her open casket ceremony. I would punch them. Why do people feel the need to dehumanize anybody who is different? Did their parents raise them this way? Why? How? I just don't see it!

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#2 lordofduct  Icon User is offline

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Re: This Crap Needs To Stop!

Posted 08 October 2010 - 10:09 AM

I have no idea... it's sick though. But I wouldn't even say it's just kids. And can go back in older generations.


When I was in highschool I was a bit of a hoodlum asshole. But I was also good with my acedemics. A couple APs made it their initiative to get me expelled and failed miserably. Every time I sat in front of a board it came down to:

"He hasn't caused any physical damage and his grades make our school look good. Keep him."

After I graduated my little brother went to the same school. With in weeks he was being suspended for nonsense. Then he finally was expelled after an AP "had to restrain him". They had came to his photography class and asked him to come down to the office, he explained he was in the middle of processing his negatives (his hands are inside that black bag where you break open your film canister) and they'd have to give him just a minute so he can get it to a point that he doesn't expose the film.

The AP proceeded to pin him to the floor and handcuff him for "resisting"... like he's a cop.



So I called the AP and asked him what the hell this was all about and his response over the phone:

"I couldn't get you, so I'll get your brother."

I told my father, and my father put the man through a wall. Literally, right through a wall into the adjacent APs office.


After that my brother jumped from school to school that had hour+ long bus rides to them. Until he finally just dropped out, who wants to travel an hour and a half west at 5 in the morning just to go to school in the WORST town in the state. I'm talking a town that still has lynchings (yep on the news about the same time a man was found hanging from a tree in his front yard, not self induced).




Big surprise, my brother took his own life.

This post has been edited by lordofduct: 08 October 2010 - 10:09 AM

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#3 lordofduct  Icon User is offline

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Re: This Crap Needs To Stop!

Posted 08 October 2010 - 10:18 AM

Quote

Suzana Vidovic found her sister's body hanging over the front lawn. The family watched, she said, as the girls who had tormented Sladjana for months walked up to the casket and laughed.
"They were laughing at the way she looked," Suzana says, crying. "Even though she died."


seriously... fucked up... nearly brings a tear to the eyes.
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#4 NeoTifa  Icon User is offline

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Re: This Crap Needs To Stop!

Posted 08 October 2010 - 10:26 AM

That's awful. :(
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#5 tlhIn`toq  Icon User is offline

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Re: This Crap Needs To Stop!

Posted 08 October 2010 - 10:30 AM

I see CNN is doing this big multi-day arc of stories about bullying. They act like it is all of a sudden somehow *new*.

I'm pretty sure that kids in ancient Rome picked on each other. Kids in Victorian England I'm sure did. Pick any tribe in any time frame and the kids picked on each other.

As humans we evolved establishing a pecking order. The strongest ruled the clan. Civilization is a new concept in our history. Telling people that they all have to kind to each other goes against the grain of millions of years of survival instincts. Lieing to our kids by telling them they are all equal doesn't help. The dumb ones get mad at the smart ones because they are passing their classes. There really does come a time when you have to start lowering your kid's expectations to come in line with the real-world possibilities. Some people are just destined to work a job with their name embroidered on their shirt. My 18 y.o. son was taking college engineering in his jr year of high school. My 16 y.o. daughter is reasonably bright, but not her brother and totally unmotivation-able. She is going to wind up a Starbuck barista by day and topless dancer by night, or a cruise ship steward or something.

With that said... There have always been rules for behavior in whatever society is in power at the moment. Desecrating the dead goes beyond what any society allows. I think it just goes to show what bad parenting produces. Some people just shouldn't reproduce.
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#6 lordofduct  Icon User is offline

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Re: This Crap Needs To Stop!

Posted 08 October 2010 - 10:46 AM

the part about suing the school is a bit much IMO. How would suing a school over it help in any way? Unless the school was actively pushing students to abuse other students then I don't see how anyone could really hold them responsible to that degree (like school sponsored hazing, or teachers actively bullying students, etc, that's when the school is responsible).

Thing is, what I believe aught to be done would probably be shunned. But sorry, I consider this an issue of how those rude pricks acted (like tlhIn'toq about parenting). Personally if I was at that funeral and saw that, I would have located them outside of the funeral (because it's rude at the funeral) and proceed to beat the ever loving snot out of them.

Not in a fist punching bloody fight. No, bent over the knee humiliating discipline. Corporal punishment bitches, I'm so for it. Kept me in line, and I needed that line. With out a good ass whooping from my dad I probably would have been found in a ditch OD'd or bloody on the floor of some convenience store. Thanks for the asswhoopings, and I look forward to giving my kids some good ol' tanned asses.



But then those are the very words that everyone tells me means I shouldn't have kids, I'd be a bad father, I should be put in jail.

This coming from the mouths of dad's who are calmly speaking to their daughter because they don't want to "harm their psychi":

"honey, please don't draw on the wall... honey, the ceiling? How'd you get up there? You know we should clean your room, it hasn't been cleaned in months. It's starting to smell."

WHAT?

No...

"Hey Sara, get down from that stool before I give you a whoopin'. Your room is a mess and if it ain't clean you ain't getting mac'n'cheese tonight. What you wanna whimper? You wanna cry? I'll give you something to cry about!"

done...

and surprisingly my "mean" methods work. I baby sit these same people's kids and they're in bed on time and all that crap. Yeah I know it's only subjective, I'm not raising them, I don't get the full brunt. But don't tell me letting your 4 year old talk DOWN to their mother is healthy. Sorry, but a 4 year doesn't DEMAND anything from their parents.

my personal test, not very scientific. But I come from a big family. I'm the middle kid, and the last in the line to receive ass whoopings. My elder siblings and I graduated highschool, my younger siblings dropped out.

::shakes head::




wow, sorry about that tangent.

This post has been edited by lordofduct: 08 October 2010 - 10:48 AM

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#7 BenignDesign  Icon User is offline

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Re: This Crap Needs To Stop!

Posted 08 October 2010 - 11:14 AM

This is the sort of thing I worry about with my younger child. I was just ranting on Twitter last night about her crying herself to sleep because she has no friends and some kid in class keeps calling her a "Loser".

On one hand - the mommy hand - it kills me to see her so devastated by life when she's only in 2nd grade. But I was the same way as a child - I was hypersensitive to everything... all you had to do was look at me wrong and I would burst into tears. I had no friends. I played under the monkey bars by myself every day until I started becoming less shy around 4th grade. I want to make everything better for her. I want to make the kids like her, but I can't. And I've tried to explain to her that this is one of the times that mommy can't make everything better. She HAS to go to school. Period.

She told me about how she fell off her chair at school and everyone laughed at her ("except for the people who are nice, they didn't laugh") and how it was so embarrassing she didn't want to go back to school today. I tried to relate to her by telling her about the day I broke much loud and smelly wind while leaning over to get a pencil during a history test in high school and how EVERYONE laughted - even the nice kids, even my friends, even the teacher - and how I lived through it to discover that the people who were nice to me before I farted in class were still nice to me even after I farted in class. For whatever reason, this only served to make her cry harder.

On the other hand - the sadist hand - I find it almost funny that some dorky little 2nd grader is calling another dorky little 2nd grader a 'loser'. You're 7 years old. You're a loser, too.
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#8 Sergio Tapia  Icon User is offline

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Re: This Crap Needs To Stop!

Posted 08 October 2010 - 11:21 AM

This thread is depressing as hell and makes me glad I don't live in the US anymore so my son won't have to to deal with this shit you guys have going on over there.

I never really had problems in high school here, lots of friends, even more acquaintances and I was generally known throughout school.

I think it's the US culture that high school is hell.

This post has been edited by Sergio Tapia: 08 October 2010 - 11:22 AM

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#9 supersloth  Icon User is offline

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Re: This Crap Needs To Stop!

Posted 08 October 2010 - 11:25 AM

yeah, bullying only happens in the US. there aren't eyes big enough to roll.
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#10 tlhIn`toq  Icon User is offline

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Re: This Crap Needs To Stop!

Posted 08 October 2010 - 11:25 AM

When my daughter was 12 she came home from school to a bedroom that had a bed, dresser, desk, chair.
Clothes that were in the closet and dresser remained. The piles of clothes and crap everywhere to the point of blocking out the carpet got bagged up and put in storage.

My calm polite conversation went kinda like this?

Daughter: whoa... what the... where are... what happened?
Clint: Did I tell you 3 weeks ago that if you didn't clean up, that I would?
D: yeah but...
C: Did I remind you politely 2 weeks ago that if you didn't clean up, that I would?
D: Yeah.
C: Did I remind you politely last week?
D: Yes.
C: So this really doesn't come as any kind of surprise, does it? In the future it would serve you well to not confuse *politeness* with *weakness*. You're teachers and employers aren't going to beg, and cajole you into doing your tasks. It was obvious by how disgracefully you treated those things and clothes all over the floor that they must be the things you like the least. If you cared about them they would be taken care of. Since you had more stuff than could be put away I took all the stuff that you demonstrated a lack of caring for and put it in storage. Later it can be donated to the needy.
D: <stunned look of horror at the thought of all her favorite stuff going away>
C: Or would you like the opportunity to put things away and keep them tidy from now on?
D: Yes please.

Never had an issue with her room since. Come to think of it she hasn't taken her things for granted or failed to care for things of importance to her since.
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#11 Sergio Tapia  Icon User is offline

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Re: This Crap Needs To Stop!

Posted 08 October 2010 - 11:26 AM

Everything has to be misconstrued doesn't it. Shit gets old fast
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#12 lordofduct  Icon User is offline

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Re: This Crap Needs To Stop!

Posted 08 October 2010 - 11:27 AM

I'm not sure where exactly you're from Sergio. But there are people I know from several nations (Canada, Germany, Britain, and Sweden... and I know well, not like online acquaintances), who all say they remember similar experiences (not exactly the same, choice of methods may vary, but bullying none the less).

Not to say your nation is like this. As I said I don't know where you're from.

But maybe there is a chance that when you were in highschool you sat on the side of the table that didn't have crap flung at them. I would agree, in high school I was generally liked by my peers and know throughout the school. You know what that's called? It's called being popular. And the popular kids don't get picked on.

But what made me popular was that I would make a point at not letting others be picked on. Not violently (I'm way to scrawny to muscle my way in like that)... but with wits.



View PosttlhIn, on 08 October 2010 - 10:25 AM, said:

When my daughter was 12 she came home from school to a bedroom that had a bed, dresser, desk, chair.
Clothes that were in the closet and dresser remained. The piles of clothes and crap everywhere to the point of blocking out the carpet got bagged up and put in storage.

My calm polite conversation went kinda like this?

*snip*


@tlhIn'toq - total win, now that's a figurative ass whoopin' if I've ever heard of one! I never said ass whoopin' required an actual ass and an actual whoopin'. Some of the best fucks are mind fucks.

(though for anecdotal purposes I imply gross violence cause it's funny)

This post has been edited by lordofduct: 08 October 2010 - 11:35 AM

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#13 Locke  Icon User is offline

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Re: This Crap Needs To Stop!

Posted 08 October 2010 - 11:29 AM

View PostBenignDesign, on 08 October 2010 - 12:14 PM, said:

This is the sort of thing I worry about with my younger child. I was just ranting on Twitter last night about her crying herself to sleep because she has no friends and some kid in class keeps calling her a "Loser".


I know this may make me sound like a huge douchebag, but the only advice is to tell her to suck it up (but in little kid terms, of course (but don't sugar coat it)). The sooner she stops whining about it and reacting to it, the sooner it'll stop. The bullies get their thrills off of the reactions of the bullied. Stop reacting -> stop the bullying.

Worked for me. I may have also threatened a few people with some "interesting" things, but, eh, that only worked some of the time.
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#14 supersloth  Icon User is offline

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Re: This Crap Needs To Stop!

Posted 08 October 2010 - 11:31 AM

View PostSergio Tapia, on 08 October 2010 - 10:26 AM, said:

Everything has to be misconstrued doesn't it. Shit gets old fast

or maybe you're just a really bad writer and are constantly conveying the wrong message. could be! i guess.
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#15 Craig328  Icon User is offline

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Re: This Crap Needs To Stop!

Posted 08 October 2010 - 11:38 AM

Truth of the matter is, our society has become so litigious that the only actual solution (go slug the bully in the mouth, get the fight over with and everyone moves on with their lives) is pretty much out of the question.

When schools will suspend you for something you say online, unrelated to school or school activities, from the privacy and privilege of your own home, the real solution can't be applied. When the parents of the bully who finally goads your kid into kicking the everloving shit out of their kid shrieks about how they'll sue you, the real solution can't be applied.

I must sound like some old fart saying this but the only solution to a bully is to fight them. Physically wind up and clock them. May even take more than one time but eventually, even a dumbass will say to himself "hey, everytime I fuck with that kid we're having a war" and conclude there are easier marks elsewhere...and that's only if he WINS the fight. If he loses, nobody in the social group (typically school) will take him seriously anymore.

I was in a grand total of two fights in my life as a kid. Both times against someone who thought they were in charge and bossing people around and/or physically intimidating them. Both fights ended with the intimidator getting the physical lesson that size isn't the sole determining factor as to who kicks who's ass.

Sometimes kids just need to learn that for some people, the only way you can earn respect is to beat it out of them. Anything less is weakness and weakness is to be bullied into oblivion.

This post has been edited by Craig328: 08 October 2010 - 11:39 AM

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