Filthy little hobbitses

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19 Replies - 1109 Views - Last Post: 10 December 2010 - 05:30 AM

#1 BenignDesign  Icon User is offline

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Filthy little hobbitses

Posted 08 December 2010 - 06:59 PM

I was reading this a few minutes ago - it seems once upon a time Hobbits were more like juicy, vertebrate worms.

My theory is that the birds didn't kill and maim my favorite imaginary race of vertically challenged beings, instead they rescued the hairy little cuties in their teeny tiny knickers and took them to a cave to cuddle.

What are your thoughts? Did Hobbits really exist? Were they really just hairy chunks of bird feed? Is Sauron still mourning the loss of the one ring?

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#2 supersloth  Icon User is offline

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Re: Filthy little hobbitses

Posted 08 December 2010 - 07:53 PM

i just wanted to make sure this was included in the thread so i could see it every time without clicking the link

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#3 no2pencil  Icon User is online

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Re: Filthy little hobbitses

Posted 08 December 2010 - 07:55 PM

Smoking stunts growth.
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#4 BenignDesign  Icon User is offline

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Re: Filthy little hobbitses

Posted 08 December 2010 - 08:00 PM

So all Hobbits are smokers? I call profiling!!

This post has been edited by BenignDesign: 08 December 2010 - 08:00 PM

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#5 no2pencil  Icon User is online

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Re: Filthy little hobbitses

Posted 08 December 2010 - 08:07 PM

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#6 BenignDesign  Icon User is offline

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Re: Filthy little hobbitses

Posted 08 December 2010 - 08:20 PM

Sweetie, that's a cartoon.

Based on this one, I could make the assumption that all lonely, bald men with large noses are into bondage.

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#7 no2pencil  Icon User is online

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Re: Filthy little hobbitses

Posted 08 December 2010 - 08:24 PM

All I need to know is where to find me a pair of those red shoes.
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#8 BenignDesign  Icon User is offline

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Re: Filthy little hobbitses

Posted 08 December 2010 - 08:26 PM

You might want to snag some LSD, too... to make the little blue men appear....
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#9 Magixion  Icon User is offline

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Re: Filthy little hobbitses

Posted 09 December 2010 - 12:59 AM

That article only adds to the epic tale of the One Ring. Going from bird feed to destroying Sauron's toy? Love it.
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#10 baavgai  Icon User is offline

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Re: Filthy little hobbitses

Posted 09 December 2010 - 05:18 AM

When Tolkien made Hobbits, he made them smokers. They had a particular love of pipe-weed and it's the Shire's major export: http://en.wikipedia....lants#Pipe-weed

Tolkien himself, well:
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Tolkien includes pipe smoking as his definition of hobbitness:

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I am in fact a hobbit in all but size. I like gardens, trees, and unmechanized farmlands; I smoke a pipe, and like good plain food (unrefrigerated), but detest French cooking; I like, and even dare to wear in these dull days, ornamental waistcoats. I am fond of mushrooms (out of a field); have a very simple sense of humour (which even my appreciative critics find tiresome); I go to bed late and get up late (when possible). I do not travel much.
-- JRR Tolkien

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#11 BenignDesign  Icon User is offline

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Re: Filthy little hobbitses

Posted 09 December 2010 - 05:21 AM

I stand corrected. Your in-depth knowledge of absolutely everything never ceases to amaze me. :surrender:
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#12 NeoTifa  Icon User is online

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Re: Filthy little hobbitses

Posted 09 December 2010 - 08:18 AM

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#13 Kilorn  Icon User is offline

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Re: Filthy little hobbitses

Posted 09 December 2010 - 08:54 AM

I bet those storks would make a nice meal.
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#14 baavgai  Icon User is offline

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Re: Filthy little hobbitses

Posted 09 December 2010 - 09:55 AM

Lol, The Hobbit was one of the first books I ever read; those things stick with you. I wrote a college paper on pagan and Christian symbolism in "Sir Gawain and the Green Knight", working mostly from JRR's translation. Tolkien officially made fantasy cool. His critique of Beowulf shifted perceptions of fantasy from childish to literature.

When I smoked, I did put in some time trying to master smoke rings. The best part is, in order to get them right, you pretty much have to look like an idiot.

As to the little proto human stork snacks having anything to do with Tolkien's fantasy critters; it's all in the marketing.
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#15 nimajneb  Icon User is offline

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Re: Filthy little hobbitses

Posted 09 December 2010 - 12:30 PM

They announced the cast of the new Hobbit movie, btw.

Bilbo Baggins - Martin Freeman
Gandalf the Grey - Ian McKellen
Thorin Oakenshield - Richard Armitage
Balin - Ken Stott
Dwalin - Graham McTavish
Óin - John Callen
Glóin - Peter Hambleton
Bifur - William Kircher
Bofur - James Nesbitt
Bombur - Stephen Hunter
Fili - Rob Kazinsky
Kili - Aidan Turner
Dori - Mark Hadlow
Nori - Jed Brophy
Ori - Adam Brown
Gollum - Andy Serkis
Beorn - Mikael Persbrandt
Radagast the Brown - Sylvester McCoy
Galadriel - Cate Blanchett
Legolas Greenleaf - Orlando Bloom
Drogo Baggins - Ryan Gage
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