A Drunk Proclamation

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34 Replies - 1696 Views - Last Post: 21 November 2006 - 06:37 PM

#1 BlueCube  Icon User is offline

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A Drunk Proclamation

Posted 20 November 2006 - 10:42 AM

A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected:





A half-gallon of 2% milk,

A half carton of eggs,

A quart of orange juice,

A small head of romaine lettuce,

A 2 lb. can of coffee,

And a 1 lb. package of bacon.



As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier.



While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, "You must be single".



The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict's intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status.



Curiosity getting the better of her, she said "Well, you know what, you're absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?"



The drunk replied, "'Cause you're ugly."


:discuss:

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Replies To: A Drunk Proclamation

#2 fooboo  Icon User is offline

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Re: A Drunk Proclamation

Posted 20 November 2006 - 10:43 AM

HAAAHHAAAAA!!!!!
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#3 HarpiesBizarre  Icon User is offline

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Re: A Drunk Proclamation

Posted 20 November 2006 - 11:45 AM

To which she replied, "Takes one to know one."

This post has been edited by HarpiesBizarre: 20 November 2006 - 11:46 AM

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#4 the_hangman  Icon User is offline

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Re: A Drunk Proclamation

Posted 20 November 2006 - 11:50 AM

Quote

To which she replied, "Takes one to know one."

and that's where the drunk guys beats her head off of the conveyer belt and proceeds to rape her on the spot, just because that didn't make any sense at all.. and cause he's drunk

This post has been edited by the_hangman: 20 November 2006 - 11:51 AM

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#5 eLliDKraM  Icon User is offline

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Re: A Drunk Proclamation

Posted 20 November 2006 - 12:00 PM

we get at least one drunk everyday in the bike shop and they're rude and insane as well. they're my favorite and my most hated customer all in one
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#6 Random English  Icon User is offline

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Re: A Drunk Proclamation

Posted 20 November 2006 - 12:02 PM

View Postthe_hangman, on 20 Nov, 2006 - 01:50 PM, said:

Quote

To which she replied, "Takes one to know one."

and that's where the drunk guys beats her head off of the conveyer belt and proceeds to rape her on the spot, just because that didn't make any sense at all.. and cause he's drunk


It makes perfect sense, the drunk guy must be ugly too, since he's alone in the supermarket... and drunk, and raping someone. Someone ugly, no less.
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#7 the_hangman  Icon User is offline

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Re: A Drunk Proclamation

Posted 20 November 2006 - 12:05 PM

ugly isn't a noun.
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#8 HarpiesBizarre  Icon User is offline

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Re: A Drunk Proclamation

Post icon  Posted 20 November 2006 - 12:25 PM

View Postthe_hangman, on 20 Nov, 2006 - 12:05 PM, said:

ugly isn't a noun.



Hangman is a bit of a freak and misogynist, I see. Perhaps an english major, as well? Let's get down to business...Maybe if she said, "It takes one to know one."? She wouldn't have been beaten and raped?

ugh.

This post has been edited by HarpiesBizarre: 20 November 2006 - 12:29 PM

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#9 okyup  Icon User is offline

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Re: A Drunk Proclamation

Posted 20 November 2006 - 12:32 PM

View PostHarpiesBizarre, on 20 Nov, 2006 - 12:25 PM, said:

View Postthe_hangman, on 20 Nov, 2006 - 12:05 PM, said:

ugly isn't a noun.



Hangman is a bit of a freak and misogynist, I see. Perhaps an english major, as well? Let's get down to business...Maybe if she said, "It takes one to know one."? She wouldn't have been beaten and raped?

ugh.


When she said "It takes one to know one" was she making a statement or asking a question? Either way they are pretty retarded. I think she would be better off to reply "I know you are but what am I?" :rolleyes:
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#10 the_hangman  Icon User is offline

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Re: A Drunk Proclamation

Posted 20 November 2006 - 12:35 PM

at least Okyup understood my point.


I'm not an English major; just a lineal thinker.
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#11 eLliDKraM  Icon User is offline

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Re: A Drunk Proclamation

Posted 20 November 2006 - 12:43 PM

shut the fuck up and get back on topic. drunk people win at life everytime
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#12 HarpiesBizarre  Icon User is offline

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Re: A Drunk Proclamation

Post icon  Posted 20 November 2006 - 12:48 PM

View Postthe_hangman, on 20 Nov, 2006 - 12:35 PM, said:

at least Okyup understood my point.


I'm not an English major; just a lineal thinker.



You are a misogynist and a freak, then?
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#13 okyup  Icon User is offline

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Re: A Drunk Proclamation

Posted 20 November 2006 - 12:50 PM

View PosteLliDKraM, on 20 Nov, 2006 - 12:43 PM, said:

shut the fuck up and get back on topic. drunk people win at life everytime


They are competing with druggies too. :P

Ignorance is bliss eh?
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#14 eLliDKraM  Icon User is offline

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Re: A Drunk Proclamation

Posted 20 November 2006 - 12:51 PM

druggies don't have the stench of the drunks and they twitch too much
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#15 okyup  Icon User is offline

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Re: A Drunk Proclamation

Posted 20 November 2006 - 12:52 PM

View PostHarpiesBizarre, on 20 Nov, 2006 - 12:48 PM, said:

View Postthe_hangman, on 20 Nov, 2006 - 12:35 PM, said:

at least Okyup understood my point.


I'm not an English major; just a lineal thinker.



You are a misogynist and a freak, then?


Help this thread is being bukkaked with stupidity. :ph34r:
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