Wanna be a millionaire? Do this:

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22 Replies - 1010 Views - Last Post: 21 February 2011 - 09:51 PM

#1 absynthe  Icon User is offline

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Wanna be a millionaire? Do this:

Posted 18 February 2011 - 09:20 PM

Invent something catchy and cruel that kills these little bastards. Also it has to ward off the replacements.

Posted Image

If you've not had the great fortune of knowing this bug here's a brief overview:

"The stink bugs that you see throughout the US are Chinese imports. They first showed up in Allentown, PA in 1996 through our ports in the US. They have been spreading all over the US in large numbers. Many people have seen them in their homes especially in the fall. They hate the cold and will look for shelter in your home from fall through early spring. Stink bugs also love bright lights. Most stink bugs in your home are females. They do not reproduce through the winter months and will not have off-spring in your home. Stink bugs must be outside for mating and need leaves to laying their eggs.

In the summer months you will see them clinging to your screens and crawling everywhere. They love to hide in curtains, laundry, lamp shades, closets, under tables and even between your mattresses. I have even heard reports of them crawling in shoes and you soon find out when you put them on your feet.

Why are they called stink bugs? Most people have the misfortune of finding out the hard way. If startled, they release an unbearable odor that can linger for 6 months, yes I said 6 months. Which is even longer that a skunk's scent.
They have a hard shell and look like something from pre-historic times. Stink bugs have invaded the east coast, mid-west, and Pacific coast. There are reports of them being found in cotton fields in the southeast.

These bugs can wreak havoc on a garden. Stink bugs love houseplants, fruits and vegetables. They cannot bite you because they lack the mouth parts for chewing, but they can stab you with their sharp proboscis which is used for piercing fruits and vegetables for sucking out the juices.

Right now the bug spray companies are still trying to produce a product that will kill the stink bugs, but with their hard amour it is difficult.

The best way to kill stink bugs is the drop them in soapy water. It will kill them instantly. If you vacuum them up, throw the bag out immediately away from your home. The scent of stink bugs will attract more stink bugs. Even their dead carcass will attract more stink bugs, so discard them outside away from your house. Do not bomb them. Stinkbug will just go in the walls or attic to hide. You will not kill them"

AUGH!! HATE EM! Everyone hates them! There's videos all over of people killing them in the worst of ways, tazers/cars/shotguns/etc. I've never seen any kind of bug that's taken over like this. It's awful, you lie down to sleep and "RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR" there flies one across the blackness sounding like a junebug. Horrible!

Honestly, if you want to be a millionaire this is the time. Just find something that kills them and advertise it on tv like the topsy turvy. Just use that same format and I swear you will make millions. Personally I think if the product tortured it would sale batter, maybe a tiny little water boarding setup. That would be perfect!

Anyone else completely fed up with this bastard bug?

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Replies To: Wanna be a millionaire? Do this:

#2 e_i_pi  Icon User is offline

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Re: Wanna be a millionaire? Do this:

Posted 18 February 2011 - 10:09 PM

View Postabsynthe, on 18 February 2011 - 09:20 PM, said:

Anyone else completely fed up with this bastard bug?

My pet hate is the bed bug. Never before has there been a creature so evil. Besides the fact that it is basically a small vampire (no, vampires are not cool, they eat you and crap bloodstains over your bed), they reproduce via a process called traumatic insemination. I'm guessing that's as fun for female bed bugs as it sounds. Keep in mind this is not normal insemination, with the pleasant wobbly feet feeling... this is traumatic insemination, with the non-anaesthetised vivisective evisceration feeling.
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#3 101101  Icon User is offline

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Re: Wanna be a millionaire? Do this:

Posted 19 February 2011 - 05:15 AM

Oi\I'll stick with buying lottery tickets./Oi
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#4 bingy  Icon User is offline

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Re: Wanna be a millionaire? Do this:

Posted 19 February 2011 - 07:06 AM

Absynthe I completely agree with you on how troublesome they are. I am desperately trying to figure out a way to get rid of them myself but only if it will not harm anything or anyone else.
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#5 hookiethe1  Icon User is offline

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Re: Wanna be a millionaire? Do this:

Posted 19 February 2011 - 08:42 AM

One thing that always cracks me up is listening to my Dad complain about modern bug killing chemicals and how weak they are. He always says "we had this stuff when I was a kid, and I dunno what was in it, but you'd spray it around your house and you wouldn't see any bugs at all for like 5 years. It was great stuff!"
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#6 Choscura  Icon User is offline

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Re: Wanna be a millionaire? Do this:

Posted 19 February 2011 - 09:34 AM

wrap the house in (lead) foil (an inch thick) and irradiate the inside. You might still have roaches (actually probably not) but the stink bugs will be gone.

Also your milk will never go bad after that, but most people don't find this appealing.
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#7 gabehabe  Icon User is offline

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Re: Wanna be a millionaire? Do this:

Posted 19 February 2011 - 12:39 PM

View Poste_i_pi, on 19 February 2011 - 05:09 AM, said:

traumatic insemination

Quote

Traumatic insemination, also known as hypodermic insemination, is the mating practice in some species of invertebrates in which the male pierces the female's abdomen with his penis and injects his sperm through the wound into her abdominal cavity (hemocoel).

Open wound sex. Yummy.
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#8 baavgai  Icon User is offline

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Re: Wanna be a millionaire? Do this:

Posted 19 February 2011 - 05:28 PM

You seriously have that many of these guys?

I rather like stink bugs. Seriously. They trundle about like the little prehistoric critters they are. They seem to have little interest in bothering me and are happy to be left alone. They are fearless and will walk onto an offered hand without too much coaxing. At which point I chuck them outside and tell them to enjoy the apples.

I have a couple apple trees and get all manner of bugs that like to feast on them in various stages of decay. Stink bugs; never a problem.

Japanese beetles, on the other hand, are the spawn of Satan. They're pointy little bastards that will dive bomb you for kicks. They bite and you need a hammer to squish em.
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#9 gabehabe  Icon User is offline

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Re: Wanna be a millionaire? Do this:

Posted 19 February 2011 - 05:38 PM

I wonder how many people have looked at baavgai's "expert in" and wondered what kind of a language Cheese is.
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#10 baavgai  Icon User is offline

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Re: Wanna be a millionaire? Do this:

Posted 19 February 2011 - 05:47 PM

Given the proliferation of computer languages, some day someone will implement the "Cheese" language and then I'll probably have to learn it. I hope it doesn't suck. :P
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#11 KYA  Icon User is offline

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Re: Wanna be a millionaire? Do this:

Posted 19 February 2011 - 05:53 PM

Quote

Stink bugs must be outside for mating and need leaves to laying their eggs.


Did you translate this from Chinese?
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#12 absynthe  Icon User is offline

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Re: Wanna be a millionaire? Do this:

Posted 19 February 2011 - 06:57 PM

Baav these guys honestly have plaqued my region:


World News Report

honestly...thousands upon thousands of the things everywhere. You cant keep them out of your house..horrible
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#13 absynthe  Icon User is offline

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Re: Wanna be a millionaire? Do this:

Posted 19 February 2011 - 07:03 PM

I'm telling ya..if China wanted to kill all of us it would be in the stink bug. They're resilient and carry nasty body fluid. Lets hope they're not genetically engineered little nation conquerors. That would be a hell of a way:

That clip is awesome btw. Shows them walking through poison like it aint nothing.
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#14 mostyfriedman  Icon User is offline

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Re: Wanna be a millionaire? Do this:

Posted 19 February 2011 - 08:22 PM

We don't have those over here lucky for us :P. This is the first time I actually hear about them, but I can see that it can be pretty tricky to get rid of them, because even if you kill them by a spray or something, you have to throw em out so that their dead bodies don't attract more which can be hard to do.. I'd say the best bet is to have like a trap of some sort that has a scent of fruit and with bright lights to attract them.. maybe something like the shocker they use for flies, but with a place to collect the dead ones so you could throw them out of your house.

This post has been edited by mostyfriedman: 20 February 2011 - 02:31 PM

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#15 bingy  Icon User is offline

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Re: Wanna be a millionaire? Do this:

Posted 20 February 2011 - 06:39 AM

Glad to hear from ya Mosty. I know at least a few of us have been worrying a little about you with all the riots and stuff that were going on over there.
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