[elgose]

So, I start a coop tomorrow at a pretty well known computer company and I know I will be receiving a company laptop. I will be free to install applications on this computer and use it, basically, as my own. Since I don't want to carry this laptop AND my laptop around all the time, I will probably be taking the work compy to school (on days I have to goto school from work, or vice-versa) and save my personal/school related files on a flash drive to keep it separate from work.

I was curious - what kind of things would you avoid doing on a company laptop, or maybe some funny stories about what you know other people have done?

For starters, a couple obvious no-no's:
- No porn (duh)
- No pirated software, etc. (I might argue this should apply to all computers)
- No video games (SC2 isn't exactly considered productive at work)
- No logs of talking about how the company sucks or bad mouthing some of the employees (never know when big brother is watching)
- No excessive browsing the web, especially during work hours (DIC being the exception, of course)

[no2pencil]

This should be pretty much common sense... anything that you think would not be work appropriate, you shouldn't do.

In other words, just imagine if your boss was standing over your shoulder, or in your cube. What ever you would do there, is laptop safe.

[elgose]

Agreed, but I'm mainly fishing for something that might not seem obvious until you've seen it happen. For instance, today I 100% understand that company e-mail is fair game for the company to snoop around so I better keep it business-only. Before I worked somewhere with a company e-mail, however, I thought that e-mails I sent were private, even if it was me@company.com.

Common sense isn't so common, and the obvious might be obvious only via experience.

[baavgai]

The common one, aside from the obvious, is don't mess the with company install.

Some companies are reasonably free, do what you want, kind of deals. However, many have specific programs installed as dictated by company policy, like virus protection, patching, etc. There will be a few that are insanely stupid and you will be sorely tempted to uninstall or disable them. This is usually against policy.

[tlhIn`toq]

You don't need a list of what NOT to do on a company laptop.
You already have a list of what you CAN do on it: Work.
Anything not on the 'YES' list is automatically on the 'NO' list.

It's the company's laptop not yours. Treat it as you would anyone else's property: With respect and understanding that it doesn't belong to you. If you can't follow that rule, then don't be surprised when the company IT people lock you out of everything and only give you 'little kiddie' permissions.

It's an expensive resource your company LOANED you to do work on. If you are not doing work but are on it, you are wrong. You are either cheating your employer by fucking off on company time with company resources and should be fired, or you are on the wrong computer during your off hours.

Always imagine your boss looking over your shoulder. (And depending on the logging software installed, he might be!) If that makes you panic because you wouldn't want him to see what you are doing - then you are wrong. If the IT people walked in and took back the laptop without warning for an audit, would you be sweating about what they discover?

[WinkyCode]

This seems to be a very interesting thread. I shall mark it as to "watch this".
@ tlhIn`toq, you give, as always according to me, good insight to do or not to do. But it is one thing I am scratching my head over: a laptop, is it really an expensive tool this days ?

As an example on a laptop for work, I bought an IBM R40 and upgrade the battery, total of 100 $ US (1 $ US to 7 SEK).

Winky

[tlhIn`toq]

I guess it depends on the level of the laptop your company gives you.
Which of course depends on what you do.
Most of us are coders. A high-power coder laptop might be $2500, after you start with a multi-core 17"-21", max the memory, max the harddrive, put in a second hard drive, swap to a BluRay burner.

The company then buys the software on it.
MS Office 2010
Visual Studio 2010 professional
-- Multiple add-ons for VS


So it can be an expensive resource they are loaning you.

[codeprada]

Apart from the list you guys already have here are a few...

• No proxies or devious methods of getting around company firewalls. They're there for a reason.
  
• No P2P software at all!
  
• No snooping around the network or trying to infiltrate your boss' or co-worker's computer as a 'prank' lol?

[Brewer]

I would like to add that planning a terrorist attack on a company computer that is key-logged is probably not a good career move.

[tlhIn`toq]

Don't use the laptop as a hammer with nails.
Don't use the laptop as a raised platform for the dog's water bowl.
Don't display a target on the screen for use with your BB gun.
Don't build it into your kids' volcano science fair project.
Don't balance the laptop precariously on the edge of a table as a poor man's earthquake detector.

Come on, everything you shouldn't do is easily covered under the premise...
If its not on the list of what you should do as part of your work and what you are graciously loaned the laptop for, then don't do it.

[codeprada]

Oh yea don't be constantly looking up at the security camera at your desk with a smirk on your face.

[bflosabre91]

luckily i dont have to deal with it but i hear the support peeps at my work saying how people eat of their computers and then those people wonder y the keyboard works like crap. so i probably wouldn't eat over my laptop keyboard that is company property.

[RetardedGenius]

I just wouldn't do anything, with it, that I wouldn't be prepared for my boss to see.

[Brandon_R]

Think about it this way: If it was your company, what would you not want your employees to do on the computers?

[lordofduct]

Screw that, I'm playing my Hentai dating sim "screw mimi with a purple tentacle" right now while streaming video a young Polynesian girl diddling a goat and smoking butts at my desk.

Oh yeah, America the free!