[Jy2k00mk1]

If you have ever been in a situation where you thought, "This is a story that no one will believe", this is the perfect place for it! So, please, share your tale with the world (Some of us might even believe it.).

I am going to be so bold as to supply the first tale.

No sh*t, there I was......
During my younger, wilder days I was a paratrooper. Now, at the time that this event occured, I had been jumping for about two years. You could say that I knew what I was doing; I just figured that I had been lucky the whole time. One beutiful spring day, I was on another jump. No winds, no clouds, nothing but blue skies for miles.
The jump was going well until I actually left the bird (which is to say I walked out without tripping and falling on my face). My exit was awesome; and then I realised that I was falling a little faster than normal. I looked up to check my 'chute, and I saw that it had failed to catch any air. In fact, it looked like a flag, which struck me as very convenient at the time; It would make it easier to find my shattered corpse.
With that thought in mind, and a cussword on my lips, I managed to get my chute un-tied enough to catch some air. Which then put me into a nausea-inducing spin. The worst part of the day, though, was after I hit the ground, while spinning like a top, and being drug over 300 ft over sand and gravel ( which is, incidentally, absolute hell for your laundry items ). No the worst part was the hike back to post because my group was dropped on the wrong dropzone.
That was a long day.

[NeoTifa]

You're lucky you got that fixed, yo.

[tlhIn`toq]

A few years back our company was doing an installation at an amusement park in Beruit Lebanon. We were there about a month. Its just us boys there on Valentines day. Some of the prettier crew from the park took pity on us and we all went out for dinner... a walking tour of the city center... a night club and so on.

The next morning we board our plan. We are delayed sitting on the tarmac for an hour before taking off. Nobody thought much of it.

Back in the USA when I go through customs the officer says "Oh, I see you got out before the big bang." I replied "Pardon? What? Some big Valentines thing?" He answered "No. They blew up one of their politicos" I rush through baggage and grab the first newspaper I can find. Sure enough, there is a photo of a crater in the middle of the street where they bombed the car. About 24 hours earlier we were all standing there taking tourist photos in front of the shop and making comments about how funny McDonalds looked as McSquiggles because of the lettering.

http://web.me.com/tl...Beirut.html#103

[Slice]

Worst/unluckiest thing that's ever happened to me has to be when I broke my wrist.

6 weeks later I get the cast taken off. Next day I decide to go and play football (soccer). While trying to keep the ball in play, I fall backwards and land on my wrist.

I returned to the hospital and had the nurse, that took my cast off the day before, put a new one on for another 6 weeks. At least she thought it was funny.

Also found out it's a bitch to use a keyboard/mouse without your right hand.

EDIT: just realised I completely misunderstood the point of this thread.. Ah well.

This post has been edited by Slice: 31 July 2011 - 01:16 PM

[ishkabible]

mine doesn't exactly compare to death but i was almosted trapped in France for a long while.

when i was in 8th grade i went on a trip to France with my school along with some friends. on the 6th day we went to a smallish town right on the English channel. i carried around a back pack with me everywhere i went, it had ~500 dollars worth of euros in it + $200 dolors, my passport, a photo copy of my passport(in case i lost it), a bottle of vodka(that i did not want my chaperones to see), a camera and some snack food. while eating at a restaurant i put my backpack down so i could sit. becuase most of us had large bills once person would pay then as we got change we would pay that person back so i never took any money out to pay. at the end of the day we got back on the bus and drove for about 2 hours to the hotel we going to stay at that night. as we got off the bus i went to pickup my backpack...but it wasn't there. i promptly told my teacher(the head chaperone) that i didn't have my backpack and that it contained my passport. we were getting on a plane to go back to the states there was no local taxi service that would take me back to that town.

this is were i started to get lucky. the bus driver offered to drive me and my teacher back to that restaurant(were i left my bag). he wasn't supposed to do this even as it was against company policy to drive any were that wasn't planned. but he did anyways. i then got to the restaurant about 30 minutes before they closed, i walked in and the i was recognized by the waiter who promptly held up my bag with a big smile on his face. i breathed a sigh of relief and he laughed. i took my bag, said thank, walked out the doy then checked the contents...nothing had been touched. i gave the bus driver 75 euros hopping that would cover experiences and any lashings he got.

i was actually quite lucky that day.

[Jy2k00mk1]

Slice, on 31 July 2011 - 08:15 PM, said:

Worst/unluckiest thing that's ever happened to me has to be when I broke my wrist.

6 weeks later I get the cast taken off. Next day I decide to go and play football (soccer). While trying to keep the ball in play, I fall backwards and land on my wrist.

I returned to the hospital and had the nurse, that took my cast off the day before, put a new one on for another 6 weeks. At least she thought it was funny.

Also found out it's a bitch to use a keyboard/mouse without your right hand.

EDIT: just realised I completely misunderstood the point of this thread.. Ah well.

Actually, I think you hit on the point rather well. Things happen to people all the time; Everyone now and then, we have events happen to us that leave us scratching our heads going "Wtf?".

tlhIn`toq, on 31 July 2011 - 03:24 PM, said:

A few years back our company was doing an installation at an amusement park in Beruit Lebanon. We were there about a month. Its just us boys there on Valentines day. Some of the prettier crew from the park took pity on us and we all went out for dinner... a walking tour of the city center... a night club and so on.

The next morning we board our plan. We are delayed sitting on the tarmac for an hour before taking off. Nobody thought much of it.

Back in the USA when I go through customs the officer says "Oh, I see you got out before the big bang." I replied "Pardon? What? Some big Valentines thing?" He answered "No. They blew up one of their politicos" I rush through baggage and grab the first newspaper I can find. Sure enough, there is a photo of a crater in the middle of the street where they bombed the car. About 24 hours earlier we were all standing there taking tourist photos in front of the shop and making comments about how funny McDonalds looked as McSquiggles because of the lettering.

http://web.me.com/tl...Beirut.html#103

Wow. Just, well, Wow.

[no2pencil]

Third gear went out on my Trailblazer today. I went to check the transmission fluid, & when I pulled the handle on the dipstick.... there was no dipstick. Every one insists that I must have broke it off.

If the problem existed before I went to check it... how did I break it?

No Sh*t.... No D*pst*ck

[modi123_1]

Friday evening I was driving home from work in Bubbi. She was getting long in the tooth, but damnit we had a plan that I would be debt free before she died. That was to come to fruiting in ninety days. A last large push, clean out the funds, and say fuck you to Evan The Debt Monster. About three miles from home she caught fire. My car was on fucking FIRE. I ditch in a cornfield exit ramp and hope out with my possessions. It turns out the driver's side floorboard had rusted through and dropped onto my exhaust. Thus catching the carpet on fire. When the flames were tamped out I was able to coast/sail it to my dad's place. Come Saturday my phone's LCD died. Saturday afternoon I am a new owner of a Trailblazer (oddly enough). I wanted an Xterra (because I am sporty like that), but apparently sporty doesn't mean linebacker. Late afternoon Sprint had my phone in piece and gave me a card to get a new one fedexed to me. They claimed my phone would work (just no lcd) until then. It turns out they are liars.

Cliff notes:
- achievement unlocked: hot feet!
- achievement unlocked: two ton paper weight
- achievement unlocked: fucked by sprint with no dinner purchased.
- achievement unlocked: more debt!

[Choscura]

When I was 19 and first moved here, I went with a group of gung-ho thai christian missionary-wannabes to a short weekend retreat in the mountains so they could complain about how primitive the environment and the people living in it were get some hands on experience spreading the love of god. I meet a girl, she helps me learn thai for a little while, I compliment her and say she has a cute smile- and as far as I know, that's that.

two weeks later, my <thai> uncle and I are driving somewhere and he turns to me from the drivers seat and says "She like the idea of marry you, because she want be missionary in Laos so you being American citizen means she get easy visa." This, after I figured out who he was actually talking about, was the beginning of the most bizarre non-relationship I have ever seen or heard of. That exchange meant that she and I would never be unchaperoned, nevermind the fact that after a little while of this and some pretending on both our parts we kind of just looked at each other and came to a mutual conclusion of "Fuck this".