12 Replies - 813 Views - Last Post: 27 February 2007 - 12:39 PM

#1 BlueCube  Icon User is offline

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My new method of angery management

Posted 26 February 2007 - 03:18 PM

When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it
out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on
someone you don't know.

I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to
make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying

"Hello."

I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please speak with Robyn Carter?"

Suddenly a manic voice yelled out in my ear "Get the right f......ing
number!" and the phone was slammed down on me. I couldn't believe that
anyone could be so rude. When I tracked down Robyn's correct number to call

her, I found that I had accidentally transposed the last two digits.

After hanging up with her, I decided to call the 'wrong' number again. When

the same guy answered the phone, I yelled "You're an asshole!" and hung up.

I wrote his number down with the word 'asshole' next to it, and put it in
my
desk drawer. Every couple of weeks, when I was paying bills or had a really

bad day, I'd call him up and yell, "You're an asshole!"

It always cheered me up. When Caller ID was introduced, I thought my
therapeutic 'asshole' calling would have to stop. So, I called his number
and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling
to
see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"

He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!" and

hung up.

One day I was at the store, getting ready to pull into a parking spot. Some

guy in a black BMW cut me off and pulled into the spot I had patiently
waitedfor. I hit the horn and yelled that I'd been waiting for that spot,
but the idiot ignored me. I noticed a "For Sale" sign in his back window,
so
I wrote down his number.

A couple of days later, right after calling the first asshole (I had his
number on speed dial,) I thought that I'd better call the BMW asshole, too.

I said, "Is this the man with the black BMW for sale?"

He said, "Yes, it is."

I asked, "Can you tell me where I can see it?"

He said, "Yes, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax . It's a yellow
rambler, and the car's parked right out in front."

I asked, "What's your name?"

He said, "My name is Don Hansen,"

I asked, "When's a good time to catch you, Don?"

He said, "I'm home every evening after five."

I said, "Listen, Don, can I tell you something?"

He said, "Yes?"

I said, "Don, you're an asshole!"

Then I hung up, and added his number to my speed dial, too. Now, when I had

a problem, I had two assholes to call.

Then I came up with an idea. I called asshole 1.

He said, "Hello."

I said, "You're an asshole!" (But I didn't hang up.)

He asked, "Are you still there?"

I said, "Yeah,"

He screamed, " Stop calling me,"

I said, "Make me,"

He asked, "Who are you?"

I said, "My name is Don Hansen."

He said, "Yeah? Where do you live?"

I said, "Asshole, I live at 34 Oaktree Blvd , in Fairfax , a yellow
rambler,
I have a black Beamer parked in front."

He said, "I'm coming over right now, Don. And you had better start saying
your prayers."

I said, "Yeah, like I'm really scared, asshole," and hung up.

Then I called Asshole .2.

He said, "Hello?"

I said, "Hello, asshole,"

He yelled, "If I ever find out who you are..."

I said, "You'll what?"

He exclaimed, "I'll kick your ass,"

I answered, "Well, asshole, here's your chance. I'm coming over right now."

Then I hung up and immediately called the police, saying that I lived at 34

Oaktree Blvd, in Fairfax , and that I was on my way over there to kill my
gay lover.

Then I called Channel 9 News about the gang war going down in Oaktree Blvd.

in Fairfax.

I quickly got into my car and headed over to Fairfax I got there just in
time to watch two assholes beating the crap out of each other in front of
six cop cars, an overhead news helicopter and surrounded by a news crew.

NOW I feel much better

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Replies To: My new method of angery management

#2 GWatt  Icon User is offline

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Re: My new method of angery management

Posted 26 February 2007 - 03:46 PM

That made my day.
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#3 Trakker  Icon User is offline

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Re: My new method of angery management

Posted 26 February 2007 - 04:23 PM

so old but so funny.
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#4 pioSko  Icon User is offline

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Re: My new method of angery management

Posted 27 February 2007 - 03:51 AM

Quote

So, I called his number
and said, "Hi, this is John Smith from the telephone company. I'm calling
to
see if you're familiar with our Caller ID Program?"

He yelled "NO!" and slammed down the phone.

I quickly called him back and said, "That's because you're an asshole!" and

hung up.


rofl.. that did it for me.
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#5 qdoom  Icon User is offline

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Re: My new method of angery management

Posted 27 February 2007 - 04:29 AM

:D
So funny...
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#6 max302  Icon User is offline

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Re: My new method of angery management

Posted 27 February 2007 - 09:18 AM

You're living on the edge.... Chances are that the police do know about the Caller ID system.
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#7 BlueCube  Icon User is offline

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Re: My new method of angery management

Posted 27 February 2007 - 11:26 AM

View Postmax302, on 27 Feb, 2007 - 09:18 AM, said:

You're living on the edge.... Chances are that the police do know about the Caller ID system.


The police do not have caller ID system you idiot.
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#8 dorknexus  Icon User is offline

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Re: My new method of angery management

Posted 27 February 2007 - 11:38 AM

only like the president of the universe has a caller id system, duh.
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#9 BlueCube  Icon User is offline

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Re: My new method of angery management

Posted 27 February 2007 - 11:45 AM

View PostDark_Nexus, on 27 Feb, 2007 - 11:38 AM, said:

only like the president of the universe has a caller id system, duh.


AND Drew Barrymore
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#10 supersloth  Icon User is offline

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Re: My new method of angery management

Posted 27 February 2007 - 11:54 AM

I uh, I have caller id.
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#11 Nova Dragoon  Icon User is offline

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Re: My new method of angery management

Posted 27 February 2007 - 12:02 PM

View Postsupersloth, on 27 Feb, 2007 - 11:54 AM, said:

I uh, I have caller id.


Are you President Barrymore??


I thought you were
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#12 BlueCube  Icon User is offline

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Re: My new method of angery management

Posted 27 February 2007 - 12:30 PM

no, no, no. he lies. I have his facebook
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#13 geeKISSexy  Icon User is offline

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Re: My new method of angery management

Posted 27 February 2007 - 12:39 PM

gave me a good chuckle my brother sent that to me a while ago.
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