What are you working on today?

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1996 Replies - 70168 Views - Last Post: 22 March 2013 - 07:46 AM

#1861 BenignDesign  Icon User is offline

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Re: What are you working on today?

Posted 22 February 2013 - 12:36 PM

My reaction last night was a mix of shock and snark. I hugged her and told her she'll be missed... then walked out of the room.

I honestly had nothing else to say at that point that would have helped the situation. Thoughts of "I make more money than daddy" and "Daddy's a womanizing asshole" and "Daddy can't give you want I can" and "Daddy didn't want you when you were conceived" and "Daddy refused to acknowledge you when you were born" and "Daddy's house is a filthy sty" and "Daddy can't cook, you'll starve" and "Daddy cares more about himself than you or anybody else on the planet" were running rampant through my head, but I kept them to myself.

I prefer to let the girls form their own opinions about their father.

Our 11-year-old is of the opinion that he's a worthless, lazy, incompetent, freakish idiot. While I wholeheartedly agree with her, I've never told her... nor do I intend to. I prefer to arm them with knowledge and allow them to form their own thoughts - even if I disagree with the end result.

So, if my little one wants to live with daddy, I won't try to stop her. I just can't promise to retain my mental faculties once she's gone.
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#1862 creativecoding  Icon User is offline

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Re: What are you working on today?

Posted 22 February 2013 - 03:52 PM

jon.kiparsky's on the dot. When your a single parent it's important to spend time with each kid individually (and sometimes all together) to improve your relationship.

And kids talk like that all the time. They don't always realize the gravity of the situation and will say stuff like that because hey - that's the only power they have over you (or so they think).

Also lengthy visits are really good. Let's them realize that dad can't take them out to eat every night or make good meals. Plus they'll be expected to manage themselves. A lot of kids don't realize that when you leave something on the ground, it stays on the ground till they put it where it goes :)

Also big siblings are dicks to smaller siblings. This is fact, but one of the only things that may help is talking with the older sibling about how the younger one looks up to them. Makes them realize how respected they actually are and what important of a role they play in the younger one's life.
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#1863 BenignDesign  Icon User is offline

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Re: What are you working on today?

Posted 22 February 2013 - 04:39 PM

That won't work. Rachel's an asshole. I love the kid, but she's inherited an awful lot of me.

What I have implemented is a grounding policy. Every time one kid touches or teases the other, they're grounded for a day. Right now, the score is Rachel 7, Ellen 12.

At this rate, I won't have to worry about either of them dating. Ever.
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#1864 BenignDesign  Icon User is offline

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Re: What are you working on today?

Posted 22 February 2013 - 07:20 PM

So, it's a daddy weekend for my girls, right? My 9-year-old has been gone for 3 hours and is already texting that she misses me and wants to come home. I don't think her living with daddy idea would last very long...
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#1865 jon.kiparsky  Icon User is offline

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Re: What are you working on today?

Posted 22 February 2013 - 07:25 PM

Only nine more years of this and then she's her own problem!
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#1866 TwoOfDiamonds  Icon User is offline

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Re: What are you working on today?

Posted 22 February 2013 - 10:36 PM

*
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View PostBenignDesign, on 22 February 2013 - 06:55 PM, said:

It's quite surreal at the moment. She told me last night that I am a wonderful mommy... but she can't stand living with her sister any longer. "Rachel picks on me, mommy. She picks on me all. the. time. And I'm giving her three more chances to stop picking on me. And if she doesn't listen, I will not live here anymore. I will live with my daddy where I won't be picked on and that's just the way it will be."

At what point does it become acceptable to use money as a carrot? "You know, pumpkin, daddy only makes half as much money as mommy does. If you live with daddy, there will be no karate classes or sparring gear or dance lessons or sparkly costumes. There will be no random nights out at fancy restaurants. No more seeing The Nutcracker performed by some expensive ballet company. No more dinner theater. No more all-day shopping trips. No more Christmases filled with DSs and iPods. No cell phones..." Does there come a point when that's acceptable? Or is it something I should save for last minute desperation?


Hey :) Not sure if it's any of my business but I'll try to give you a hand :D (since my parents are divorced since I was 2 and I also have an older brother , so this could help you a little)

I also had my "i want to live with daddy" age and my mom dealt with it pretty good . I don't think you should be putting the problem like "No more blah-blah", instead make her think what has her dad ever done for her and emphasise that you always were there when she got sick, got problems in school , etc . Also, if that doesn't work ... just let her on a mini-holiday at her father for 2 weeks or so (it would be awesome if the father wouldn't know that she wants to move in with him for good) , the everyday problems will get to him and she will see that he is not only honey and milk :)

And one more thing , probably the most important in my life . When me and my brother had a fight my mom would lock us into one room and wouldn't let us out until we solved our problems , and since kids have a huge ego, we wouldn't say sorry unless we meant it . The result is that my brother is my bestfriend ,we don't talk daily and things like that but when one of us got a problem the other is there to back up no matter what :P and it works for the whole family .


Hope this helps :)
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#1867 modi123_1  Icon User is online

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Re: What are you working on today?

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:00 AM

Today - accomplished waking up: alive, grabbed my buddy to go get some comics, got a new box for aforementioned forty dollars of comics comics, and didn't get to go to Villiage Inn. So far, at noon, it's been a mixed bag.
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#1868 KYA  Icon User is offline

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Re: What are you working on today?

Posted 23 February 2013 - 10:10 PM

Just finished a compiler for class. Compilers are hard.
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#1869 jon.kiparsky  Icon User is offline

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Re: What are you working on today?

Posted 23 February 2013 - 10:28 PM

View PostKYA, on 24 February 2013 - 12:10 AM, said:

Just finished a compiler for class. Compilers are hard.


Yes, but fun. What did you compile?
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#1870 KYA  Icon User is offline

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Re: What are you working on today?

Posted 23 February 2013 - 11:27 PM

A compilation of the TINY language that the author invented for academic purposes. We the move to C- which is C with less crap in it. Again, for academia. I feel a blog post is in order.
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#1871 jon.kiparsky  Icon User is offline

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Re: What are you working on today?

Posted 24 February 2013 - 12:10 AM

Cool. Compilers was probably my favorite CS course - we went straight through in Java, so we got to see the thing compiling more and more stuff every week. Pretty awesome. Didn't get the complete language, of course, it was only a semester, but we were able to do a good bit.
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#1872 TwoOfDiamonds  Icon User is offline

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Re: What are you working on today?

Posted 24 February 2013 - 02:58 AM

Gonna go to see Zero Dark Thirty and maybe start Sedgewick's Algorithms in C ^-^
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#1873 BenignDesign  Icon User is offline

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Re: What are you working on today?

Posted 26 February 2013 - 12:32 PM

Boss let me out of work early due to inclement weather. Made it all the way home only to get the ominous text message indicating my entire workplace is shutting down early meaning I am required to hop online and update the website...

... and my VPN refuses to connect. Blargh.
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#1874 modi123_1  Icon User is online

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Re: What are you working on today?

Posted 26 February 2013 - 12:43 PM

Welcome to my last Thursday.
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#1875 jon.kiparsky  Icon User is offline

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Re: What are you working on today?

Posted 26 February 2013 - 12:46 PM

View Postmodi123_1, on 26 February 2013 - 02:43 PM, said:

Welcome to my last Thursday.


Ominous. And confusing, since it's only Tuesday.
But a great opening line for a dark thriller.
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