Bad Jokes

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29 Replies - 1582 Views - Last Post: 20 April 2007 - 12:44 AM

#1 darfyd  Icon User is offline

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Bad Jokes

Posted 18 April 2007 - 01:42 AM

Ok so we have had Books you read,what you had for lunch, what ticked you off etc etc
So how about the worse joke you have heard. My next doors 6 yr old come up with one resently. What do you get if you pour petrol/gas down a rabbit hole and light it
Hot Cross Bunnies
I think that just about says it all
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Replies To: Bad Jokes

#2 Ellie  Icon User is offline

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Re: Bad Jokes

Posted 18 April 2007 - 02:36 AM

I think this is truely the worst joke someone has sent me in a long time:

Quote

The Prawn and the Shark

Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area.

Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm fed up with being a prawn; I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten."

A large mysterious cod appeared and said, "Your wish is granted", and lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate.

Time passed and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realise that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn. He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn.

With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail. (The punch line does not involve a prawn cocktail - it's much worse). Looking around the gathering at the reef he realised he couldn't see his old pal. "Where's Christian?" he asked.
"He's at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy and became a shark", came the reply.

Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's abode. As he opened the coral gate memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, "It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again."
Christian replied, "No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner."
Justin cried back. "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed..... I've found Cod. I'm a prawn again Christian".

:blink:
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#3 pioSko  Icon User is offline

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Re: Bad Jokes

Posted 18 April 2007 - 03:32 AM

wasn't too bad.. just long winded.

Quote

A sausage and an egg are frying in a pan. The sausage turns to the egg and says: "Fuck it's hot in here".

And the egg goes: "Wow!! a talking sausage!!"

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#4 Ellie  Icon User is offline

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Re: Bad Jokes

Posted 18 April 2007 - 04:20 AM

OK, I'll try a worse one..... :P

Quote

So Batman came up to me and he hit me over the head with a vase and he went T'PAU! I said "Don't you mean KAPOW?? He said "No, I've got china in my hand."

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#5 1lacca  Icon User is offline

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Re: Bad Jokes

Posted 18 April 2007 - 05:20 AM

OK, close, try one more :P
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#6 GWatt  Icon User is online

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Re: Bad Jokes

Posted 18 April 2007 - 05:48 PM

This one requires some knowledge of music theory

Quote

Humor in Music

A C, an E-flat, and a G go into a bar. The bartender says: "Sorry, but
we don't serve minors." So, the E-flat leaves, and the C and the G
have an open fifth between them.

After a few drinks, the fifth is diminished and the G is out flat. An
F comes in and tries to augment the situation, but is not sharp enough.

A D comes into the bar and heads straight for the bathroom saying,
"Excuse me. I'll just be a second."

An A comes into the bar, but the bartender is not convinced that this
relative of C is not a minor. Then the bartender notices a B-flat
hiding at the end of the bar and exclaims: "Get out now! You're the
seventh minor I've found in this bar tonight."

The E-flat, not easily deflated, comes back to the bar the next night
in a 3-piece suit with nicely shined shoes. The bartender (who used to
have a nice corporate job until his company downsized) says: "You're
looking sharp tonight, come on in! This could be a major development."

This proves to be the case, as the E-flat takes off the suit, and
everything else, and stands there au natural.

Eventually, the C sobers up, and realizes in horror that he's under a rest.

The C is brought to trial, is found guilty of contributing to the
diminution of a minor, and is sentenced to 10 years of DS without Coda
at an upscale correctional facility.

On appeal, however, the C is found innocent of any wrongdoing, even
accidental, and that all accusations to the contrary are bassless.

The bartender decides, however, that since he's only had tenor so
patrons, the soprano out in the bathroom, and everything has become
alto much treble, he needs a rest - and closes the bar.

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#7 supersloth  Icon User is offline

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Re: Bad Jokes

Posted 18 April 2007 - 06:09 PM

this thread.
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#8 GWatt  Icon User is online

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Re: Bad Jokes

Posted 18 April 2007 - 06:20 PM

View Postsupersloth, on 18 Apr, 2007 - 09:09 PM, said:

this thread.


Is that supposed to be a joke?
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#9 supersloth  Icon User is offline

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Re: Bad Jokes

Posted 18 April 2007 - 06:56 PM

it's multi-layered. i'm very deep like that.
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#10 MarkoDaGeek  Icon User is offline

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Re: Bad Jokes

Posted 18 April 2007 - 07:10 PM

You have made my night.
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#11 supersloth  Icon User is offline

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Re: Bad Jokes

Posted 18 April 2007 - 07:19 PM

chris's address book?
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#12 Ellie  Icon User is offline

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Re: Bad Jokes

Posted 19 April 2007 - 02:36 AM

Quote

A jump lead walks into a bar. The bartender goes "I'll serve you, but don't start anything"


Quote

Two parrots are sitting on a perch. One says to the other "Do you smell fish?"


Quote

Why did Snoop Dogg need an umbrella? Fo Drizzle


I don't think they are as bad as the T'Pau one though
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#13 Demandred  Icon User is offline

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Re: Bad Jokes

Posted 19 April 2007 - 06:17 AM

The last one was the last time Snoop said that he would "izzle" a word ever again, i think i seen it on a talk show or something
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#14 WolfCoder  Icon User is offline

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Re: Bad Jokes

Posted 19 April 2007 - 06:51 AM

The worst one I've heard was:

A guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "why the long face"?
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#15 eLliDKraM  Icon User is offline

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Re: Bad Jokes

Posted 19 April 2007 - 06:52 AM

your mother has a deep vagina
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