Advantages of Being A Girl on the Internet

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125 Replies - 7120 Views - Last Post: 15 August 2012 - 10:08 PM

#91 WolfCoder  Icon User is offline

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Re: Advantages of Being A Girl on the Internet

Posted 13 August 2012 - 10:27 PM

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It seems like being a girl would give you a lot of freedom to tell people making stupid jokes how dumb they are without repercussion.


You don't have to be a girl to do that~
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#92 BenignDesign  Icon User is offline

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Re: Advantages of Being A Girl on the Internet

Posted 14 August 2012 - 06:23 AM

Question 1: Choscura - why the fuck are you reading Vanity Fair?

Question 2: Vanity Fair is akin to Cosmopolitan in its legitimacy, why would you quote it as a reputable source of information?

Question 3: What the ever loving fuck is that sexist piece of shit you quoted for us anyway?

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Be your gender what it may, you will certainly have heard the following from a female friend who is enumerating the charms of a new (male) squeeze: "He's really quite cute, and he's kind to my friends, and he knows all kinds of stuff, and he's so funny … "


"He knows all kinds of stuff. Tee-hee. So maybe tomorrow, he can teach me to spell my own name and walk and chew gum at the same time."

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However, there is something that you absolutely never hear from a male friend who is hymning his latest (female) love interest: "She's a real honey, has a life of her own … [interlude for attributes that are none of your business] … and, man, does she ever make 'em laugh."


Completely ignoring the "women aren't funny" bit.... why is it such a horrible thing for a woman to have a life of her own? Excuse the fuck out of me for not bowing before the sacred alter of manliness and waiting for someone else to take care of me! Excuse the fuck out of me for putting on my big girl pants, getting a job, creating a life, and being fully self-sufficient.

If the only way to land a man in this world is to play dumb and helpless, then fuck them all. I don't need a damned one of them!

Holy shit, the guy who wrote that article just ruined my entire fucking day.
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#93 no2pencil  Icon User is online

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Re: Advantages of Being A Girl on the Internet

Posted 14 August 2012 - 06:55 AM

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#94 strawhat89  Icon User is offline

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Re: Advantages of Being A Girl on the Internet

Posted 14 August 2012 - 07:03 AM

Damn! That diss made me snarf yo!
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#95 BenignDesign  Icon User is offline

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Re: Advantages of Being A Girl on the Internet

Posted 14 August 2012 - 07:05 AM

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#96 h4nnib4l  Icon User is offline

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Re: Advantages of Being A Girl on the Internet

Posted 14 August 2012 - 07:07 AM

@Choscura - I feel like virginity, by definition, means sex-deprived. Self-inflicted deprivation by any other name... well... let's keep smell out of it, there are youngsters present.

@Benign - You can't get worked up about a sexist post from a guy who believes that virginity doesn't relate to the amount of sex one has (or hasn't) had.
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#97 Choscura  Icon User is offline

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Re: Advantages of Being A Girl on the Internet

Posted 14 August 2012 - 07:37 AM

View PostBenignDesign, on 14 August 2012 - 06:23 AM, said:

<snip>
Spoiler


As much in order as I can be bothered to put this:

I'm reading this because of the author, I made no assertion that this was a legitimate source- its and opinion piece from an opinion magazine, the author is Christopher Hitchens, neither he nor any of the imaginary characters performing dialogue for his illustrations have made any assertion that women having a life of their own is a bad thing (quite the opposite, in fact, even the quote you quoted back at me was listing endearing attributes- which included the "life of her own" bit), and if it makes you feel any better, the 'sexism' from this author in a related (but not mentioned) assertion that he would be the one to bring home the bacon and take care of his wife should be taken with reference to the fact that he was bisexual, and while dead and no longer capable of informing us of his opinion (or of insulting fast readers in any way that is not retroactive), may very well have had the same expectations for his role if he were married to a man.

As far as Cosmo goes, I've recently been informed by the radio that the recently-deceased editor in chief had the (endearing) motto that "Good girls go to heaven; bad girls go everywhere", and so I may very well post the most inflammatory offensive Cosmo articles I can read without referencing a dictionary, and as far as virginity not qualifying as being 'sex deprived', I need only point out that by definition they do not know what they are missing and thus cannot rationally feel deprived of it under normal circumstances.

As far as your day goes, B9, you can at least take solace in the fact that the author is dead and his death was widely celebrated.
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#98 h4nnib4l  Icon User is offline

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Re: Advantages of Being A Girl on the Internet

Posted 14 August 2012 - 07:54 AM

I didn't say that the virgin feels sex deprived. But I feel that the virgin is sex-deprived, so I will continue to describe the virgin as sex-deprived. Deprivation is not solely based on the awareness of the "victim" because the he or she is not the only person who can speak about his or her own state.

EDIT: Besides, most of the virgins I've encountered have at least masturbated, so on some level they are conscious of the deprivation.

This post has been edited by h4nnib4l: 14 August 2012 - 07:56 AM

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#99 modi123_1  Icon User is offline

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Re: Advantages of Being A Girl on the Internet

Posted 14 August 2012 - 08:12 AM

To interject on odd articles.. did anyone catch this guy's research?

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Gordon Gallup, a psychologist at SUNY-Albany has a theory that pregnant women who are continually exposed to the father’s semen are less like to suffer from AM nausea.

Gallup, who specializes in human reproductive competition and behavior, offers the theory that expectant women become ill and vomit because their bodies are rejecting the semen’s genetic material as something foreign and unfamiliar.

The theory could feasibly quell their queasiness by ingesting the same sperm in order to allow the body to build up a tolerance.
[...]
Gallup has long been making headlines as a proponent of the healing nature of sperm.

In 2002, he made waves when he concluded that exposure to semen offered anti-depressant qualities.
cite

Now my unused cookbook (Natural Harvest) will have a purpose!

(FYI that link might be a bit risqué for some work places.)
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#100 Jstall  Icon User is offline

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Re: Advantages of Being A Girl on the Internet

Posted 14 August 2012 - 08:57 AM

Modi I just told my wife about that cookbook and she thinks it's one of the nastiest things she has ever heard.

Now I need to
a ) Google how to bake muffins
b ) Bake muffins with the sole intent of making my wife believe I used my semen as an ingredient.
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#101 modi123_1  Icon User is offline

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Re: Advantages of Being A Girl on the Internet

Posted 14 August 2012 - 09:00 AM

If possible film her reactions and drop it on the youtubes. Classic internet fame.
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#102 Jstall  Icon User is offline

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Re: Advantages of Being A Girl on the Internet

Posted 14 August 2012 - 09:04 AM

Ha! I find the idea of internet fame very unappealing. Also I've heard from a reliable source that getting your image captured will steal your soul.
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#103 aresh  Icon User is offline

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Re: Advantages of Being A Girl on the Internet

Posted 14 August 2012 - 09:08 AM

ORLY? That means I got no soul? Cool.
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#104 modi123_1  Icon User is offline

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Re: Advantages of Being A Girl on the Internet

Posted 14 August 2012 - 09:08 AM

Oh that's just poppycock nonsense... you have plenty of soul to go around!

Side note.. in light of that book.. poppy seed muffins relabeled as 'poppycock' might be amusing word play.
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#105 BenignDesign  Icon User is offline

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Re: Advantages of Being A Girl on the Internet

Posted 14 August 2012 - 09:18 AM

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View PostChoscura, on 14 August 2012 - 10:37 AM, said:

neither he nor any of the imaginary characters performing dialogue for his illustrations have made any assertion that women having a life of their own is a bad thing (quite the opposite, in fact, even the quote you quoted back at me was listing endearing attributes- which included the "life of her own" bit)


It was a list of endearing attributes you'll "absolutely never hear from a male friend who is hymning his latest (female) love interest".

You'll never hear that she's funny.
You'll never hear that she has a life of her own.
You'll never hear that she's a "honey"... whatever that's supposed to mean.

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and if it makes you feel any better, the 'sexism' from this author in a related (but not mentioned) assertion that he would be the one to bring home the bacon and take care of his wife should be taken with reference to the fact that he was bisexual


What does being bisexual have to do with being sexist? "Hey! Look at me! I can be an oppressive, overbearing, chauvinistic, dominating douche to men AND women! I rock!"
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