big one in the news here right now is a 24 year old kidult pretending to be a plastic surgeon and injecting some kind of chemical or medicine he found online into a woman's buttocks, whereupon she went into a coma and has now been declared "More brain-dead than before".
The town was in the world record books for most bars per capital, which gives you some idea what we're dealing with. Lots of bicycle riders; drunk Polish guys who've lost their licence. One drives the bike with his elbows, so he has one hand free for the cigarette and the other for whatever is in the brown paper bag.
We name our joggers. "Molasses Man" is still around, but I haven't seen "Dances with Cars" for a while; not a surprise, I suppose.
The town is responsible for most of the asbestos production in the US. Locals recall "pink snow." On the up side, house fires are very rare; most houses being sheathed in fire proof material.
We have someone like this in Columbus - they drive a car with doll heads all over it. Now I am curious to find out more about that person. Kenny here seems to have piqued my interest.
We have a homeless guy who walks at a fast pace all day and night. If he does stop it is usually to take off his shirt, yell at or steal some random thing around him, then put his shirt back on and continue walking. He does not slow down or stop for traffic, and never interacts with anyone. We've nicknamed him the Rastafarian terminator because from what we've been told he came from Jamaica with a boat load of meth, which was also apparently his drug of choice.
We have a crack team of CSI folk coming in from Vegas and the FBI's criminal psych unit in route from DC.
Columbus Fire Chief Dean Hefti is confident authorities will catch whoever is responsible for a pair of fires set in city park restrooms.
Hefti called the fires [...] a trend that pops up every few years.
“It’s just a cycle,” said Hefti. The last string of restroom fires was two or three years ago.
[...] Hefti said the small fires caused a couple hundred dollars in damage, including labor and paint to repair the smoke damage. The restrooms didn’t sustain any structural damage because they’re concrete.
Hefti said law enforcement is still working to identify the individual or individuals responsible for the fires.