the best lines...

on tv, in movies, books... whatev!

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18 Replies - 1051 Views - Last Post: 26 June 2007 - 07:07 AM

#1 OrangeFanta  Icon User is offline

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the best lines...

Posted 22 June 2007 - 01:24 AM

It's long but I saw this on Robot Chicken and just about died laughing.

Quote

Emperor Palpatine: [On the phone with Darth Vader] Vader! How's my favourite Sith?... Whoa whoa whoa... whoa, whoa. Just - slow down. Huh? What do you mean they blew up the Death Star? F*beeep*! Oh, *beep*, *beep* *beeeeeeeep*!... Who's THEY?... What the hell is an Aluminum Falcon?
[sighs]
Emperor Palpatine: OK, OK, so who's left?... Are you s*beep*ing me?... Well, where are you?... Wait a sec, you've been flying around for two weeks trying to get a signal?... Oh, you must smell like... feet wrapped in leathery, burnt bacon... Oh, oh, oh! Oh, I'm sorry, I thought my Dark Lord of the Sith could protect a small thermal exhaust port that's only two meters wide! That thing wasn't even fully paid off yet!... Do you - do you have ANY idea what this is going to do to my credit?
[phone beeps, he sighs]
Emperor Palpatine: Hang on, I've got another call.
[switches line]
Emperor Palpatine: WHAT? I'm very busy right now!... Oh! Oh, well - well, where are they going?... Oh, alright Uh. Um, get me a turkey club... Um, coleslaw I guess. I'm not even going to eat it... Well, what are you getting?... See, I always order the wrong thing. No, no, I'll just stick with that. OK, bye - What?... Oh, uh, cherry coke. Thanks.
[switches line]
Emperor Palpatine: Sorry about that.
[sighs]
Emperor Palpatine: What?... Oh, oh, JUST rebuild it?... Oh, real f*beep*ing original. And who's going to give me a loan, jackhole, you?... You got an ATM on that torso Light Brite? Now get your seven-foot-two asthmatic ass back here, or I'm going to tell everyone what a whiny bitch you were about Padama-may or Panda-Bear what whatever the hell her name is!...
[covers receiver]
Emperor Palpatine: Oh, Jeez, he's crying!
[giggles, then into phone]
Emperor Palpatine: Hey, hey, hey, hey. C'mon. C'mon, don't do that. Just - just. Look, you know, I'm just dealing with a lot of crap right now. Death Star blown up by a bunch of f*beep*ing teenagers, you know? I didn't mean to snap.
[does jacking off motion to guys in room]
Emperor Palpatine: Oh, uh, just get back here. OK. OK. Bye. I... um... I...
[whispers into phone]
Emperor Palpatine: I love you, too.


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#2 fooboo  Icon User is offline

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Re: the best lines...

Posted 22 June 2007 - 01:38 AM

Heh heh. Quality!
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#3 1lacca  Icon User is offline

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Re: the best lines...

Posted 22 June 2007 - 01:59 AM

Yikes!
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#4 AngeluS  Icon User is offline

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Re: the best lines...

Posted 22 June 2007 - 02:02 AM

awesome! :-)

my addition to this thread is a quote of Jeff in the series coupling:

Quote

You know what's great about skirts? When a woman's wearing a skirt, you know, you know, that somewhere in that room shifting all the time is the V.A.A. The Visual Access Angle. A clear line of sight right to base camp. You just have to switch chairs right, or maybe move your head a bit, or accidentally fall on the floor and there'll be nothing but clear air between intimate sighting number one...Sorry I was just thinking about skirts

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#5 maggie_noodles  Icon User is offline

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Re: the best lines...

Posted 22 June 2007 - 03:21 AM

Ok, so that made my day OrangeFanta. I miss dic!
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#6 1lacca  Icon User is offline

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Re: the best lines...

Posted 22 June 2007 - 03:55 AM

Yes, you are missed here maggie, especially the topics you were starting regularly.
Btw, where have you been?
And its only 4 posts to the dicshirt, so go on!
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#7 no2pencil  Icon User is online

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Re: the best lines...

Posted 22 June 2007 - 05:13 AM

Ash: Army of Darkness.

Quote

"I swear... the next one of you primates, so much as even touches me... HI-YAH! *Fires a shotgun blast into a zombie*"

That entire movie was full of great one liners.

Quote

Zombie Woman: I will eat your soul!
Ash: Mam, I'm afraid I'm going to have to ask you to leave the store.

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#8 Ellie  Icon User is offline

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Re: the best lines...

Posted 22 June 2007 - 05:29 AM

From the movie that plays in my head most of the time I'm at work in my cube farm office listening to a manager talk about something dull, Office Space:

Quote

Peter Gibbons: What would you do if you had a million dollars?
Lawrence: I'll tell you what I'd do, man: two chicks at the same time, man.
Peter Gibbons: That's it? If you had a million dollars, you'd do two chicks at the same time?
Lawrence: Damn straight. I always wanted to do that, man. And I think if I were a millionaire I could hook that up, too; 'cause chicks dig dudes with money.
Peter Gibbons: Well, not all chicks.
Lawrence: Well, the type of chicks that'd double up on a dude like me do.


Quote

Peter Gibbons: Let me ask you something, when you come in on Monday, and you're not feeling real well, does anyone ever say to you, sounds like someone has a case of the Mondays?
Lawrence: No... no man, shit, no man, I believe you'd get your ass kicked saying something like that man.


Quote

Human beings were not meant to sit in little cubicles staring at computer screens all day, filling out useless forms and listening to eight different bosses drone on about mission statements.

This post has been edited by Ellie: 22 June 2007 - 05:29 AM

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#9 no2pencil  Icon User is online

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Re: the best lines...

Posted 22 June 2007 - 06:10 AM

View PostEllie, on 22 Jun, 2007 - 05:29 AM, said:

Office Space:

Classic... just absolutly classic!
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#10 Amadeus  Icon User is offline

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Re: the best lines...

Posted 22 June 2007 - 07:37 AM

Quote

Milo: You think you are so fucking cool, don't you? You think you are so fucking cool. But just once, I would like to hear you scream in pain...
Joe Hallenbeck: Play some rap music.

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#11 OrangeFanta  Icon User is offline

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Re: the best lines...

Posted 22 June 2007 - 10:01 AM

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[Tim, Daisy and Brian have all just watched the original Star Wars trilogy]
Tim: Brian, did you notice that everything that transpired in those three films - and I *mean* everything - can be attributed to the actions of one very *minor* character?
Brian: Who?
Tim: The gunner on the Star Destroyer at the beginning of the first film.
Brian: How come?
Tim: [know-it-all] Well. Hmmhmmhmm. Because, if the gunner *had* shot the pod that C-3P0 and R2 were in, they wouldn't have got to Tatooine, they wouldn't have met Luke, Luke wouldn't have met Ben, they wouldn't have met Han and Chewie, they wouldn't have rescued Princess Leia. *None* of it would have happened.
Brian: That's chaos theory. The belief that the future is in fact a mathematically predictable preordained system.
Daisy: So somewhere out there in the vastness of the unknown there's an... equation for predicting the future?
Brian: An equation so complex as to utterly defy possibility of comprehension by even the most brilliant human mind, but an equation nonetheless.
Tim: [in dawning realization] Oh my god...
Brian: What?
Daisy: What?
Tim: I've got some F - -ing Jaffa Cakes in my coat pocket.


Quote

[Tim is being dumped by girlfriend Sarah]
Tim: Just... give me a reason. You think I'm unemotional, don't you? I can *be* emotional. Jesus, I cried like a child at the end of Terminator 2.


and pretty much anything else on this page Spaced Quotes
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#12 OrangeFanta  Icon User is offline

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Re: the best lines...

Posted 24 June 2007 - 02:38 PM

I just rewatched this movie. I love the dialogue, but this bit is my favourite.

Quote

V: But on this most auspicious of nights, permit me then, in lieu of the more commonplace sobriquet, to suggest the character of this dramatis persona.
V: Voilà! In view, a humble vaudevillian veteran, cast vicariously as both victim and villain by the vicissitudes of Fate. This visage, no mere veneer of vanity, is a vestige of the vox populi, now vacant, vanished. However, this valorous visitation of a by-gone vexation, stands vivified and has vowed to vanquish these venal and virulent vermin van-guarding vice and vouchsafing the violently vicious and voracious violation of volition.
[carves V into poster on wall]
V: The only verdict is vengeance; a vendetta, held as a votive, not in vain, for the value and veracity of such shall one day vindicate the vigilant and the virtuous.
[giggles]
V: Verily, this vichyssoise of verbiage veers most verbose, so let me simply add that it's my very good honor to meet you and you may call me V.

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#13 dgilmore286  Icon User is offline

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Re: the best lines...

Posted 24 June 2007 - 04:15 PM

Nice, but I go for much simpler and less elloquent:

Quote

Be careful what you shoot at Ryan, most things in here don't react well to bullets.


Connery in Hunt for Red October...
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#14 capty99  Icon User is offline

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Re: the best lines...

Posted 24 June 2007 - 05:51 PM

scotty doesn't know that fiona and me do it in his van every sunday,
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#15 maggie_noodles  Icon User is offline

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Re: the best lines...

Posted 24 June 2007 - 08:15 PM

View Post1lacca, on 22 Jun, 2007 - 06:55 PM, said:

Btw, where have you been?


Been busy putting my life into order. ;)
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