When Dad's a Dick (but not a DIC)

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#1 BenignDesign  Icon User is offline

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When Dad's a Dick (but not a DIC)

Posted 30 November 2012 - 08:14 AM

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Read this article this morning about a British guy who has apparently carried stellar parenting skills from his children's formative years through to their adult years.

The story goes that this man, who has very British teeth - though I don't think we should hold that against him, has three children in their 30s and 40s. He thinks they turned out poorly, so he sent them an email telling them how badly they suck and how he and their mother don't want to hear from them again until they stop sucking.

Why? Because his friends brag about their kids and his kids have given him nothing to brag about. Way to go, dad! Way to show support and unconditional love!

From dad's email:

Quote

...each of you consciously, and with eyes wide open, crashes from one cock-up to the next. It makes us weak that so many of these events are copulation-driven...


Nice word play. Copulation-driven cock-ups. +1 to dad.

From daughter's response:

Quote

...None of us has been a drain on the State, none of us has got into drugs or done anything bad. None of us is lazy or has asked them for money. We’ve been no trouble to him financially or socially...


Then why is he so disappointed?

I haven't been able to locate a story that tells what these kids do for a living, or how many kids they have, or exactly what about them is so horrible that their father felt the need to tear them apart.

I'm taking the kids' side in this one. And here's why...

I am one of many, many children in my family. I have always been the square peg, the perpetual fuck-up, the odd one out. I have made many a copulation-driven cock-up. I am the one who's never been married (I know... everyone refers to my dreaded ex as my ex-husband... he was never my husband... it's just easier to let it slide than correct people all the time). I am the one who bore children out of wedlock. I am the one who struggled for years before settling into an actual "career". I am the one who - once upon a time - changed boyfriends like underpants.

Every family dinner, there would be a new man. My brother referred to them as my "flavors of the month".

The guy with the tattoos, the guy with the piercings, the guy in the wheelchair, the guy who refused to go outside to smoke, the vegan, the openly bisexual, the high school drop-out, the grad student, the alcoholic, the little rich boy, the guy who lived on other people's couches... I dated them all, and I brought them all home to meet my family.

Granted, this all came to a screeching halt when my kids were born. The serial dating stopped very quickly. I tend to move rather slowly and timidly in matters of the heart these days - and no one meets my children or my family without months and months of dedication.

But that's veering from the topic at hand. My point here is that of ALL the children my parents raised, I'm the defective one. I'm the work-in-progress. To me, this says the problem wasn't with the parenting, but with the child. A 90% success rate isn't bad. Cheers to my parents for their ability to churn out functioning adults. They have always been there for me - they've listened as I've unloaded my frustrations time and again. They've given advice that I've rarely taken. Through the years, I've had to move back in to their house twice (once for a year, once for a month). They've watched me climb the proverbial ladder, fall on my face, dust myself off, and climb it again... over and over and over. But they've always been there. The door has always been open. There is a standing invitation that will prevent me from ever being homeless as long as they're alive. No matter how much I copulate, no matter how many cocks-up are involved, they've got my back (granted, it might come with forced church attendance, but sometimes that's a small price to pay for a bed to sleep in and something to eat).

This British man, however, is apparently 0 for 3. Maybe he should spend some time examining how he raised his children and less time belittling them for their failures in life.

Having children of my own, I worry constantly about how they're going to turn out in the end. I can only hope that I'm doing something right. Right now, they tell me they want to be a scientist and a veterinarian... but maybe they'll grow up to be heroin-addicted prostitutes popping out fetal alcohol babies and wracking up therapy bills. I have no way of predicting that. I can only do what I feel is right and hope for the best.

It seems my post has turned from a short rant to a short novel, so I'll shut up for a moment and wait for responses. Who is to blame for the shortcomings of this man's children? Is anyone to blame? Was it a group effort? Was dad in the right or did he cross a line? Could Midol have prevented this situation?

TL;DR: There is none. Stop being a whiny bitch and read the damned post.

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Replies To: When Dad's a Dick (but not a DIC)

#2 nick2price  Icon User is offline

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Re: When Dad's a Dick (but not a DIC)

Posted 30 November 2012 - 08:27 AM

Couldnt agree with you more. My thoughts have always been that the results of a childs outcome is 90% down to the way they have been brought up. This doesnt necessarily mean the parents have been bad, but maybe havnt applied enough rules on their kids. If they allow their kids to be out all night with unruly subjects, what do they expect? It makes me sick these days when I go to the pub on a Saturday night, and I see girls around town who cannot be older than 12 years old, and they are covered in make up, wearing miniskirts, and exposing their tits. If I were the parent of these kids, I would not allow them out that late, let alone wearing what they were.

Discipline, boundaries and limitations, then we wouldnt have any of these problems.

And when you say British teeth, I presume you mean beautiful? Such sterotyping going on here :P
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#3 BenignDesign  Icon User is offline

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Re: When Dad's a Dick (but not a DIC)

Posted 30 November 2012 - 08:29 AM

Not beautiful so much as full-on dashing.

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#4 no2pencil  Icon User is online

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Re: When Dad's a Dick (but not a DIC)

Posted 30 November 2012 - 08:30 AM

I read this as a class thing. Dad pumped x dollars into his kids & they are not trophy winners. Sort of like that scene in Blades of Glory.

"I gave it 20 years, so it's not like people can't say I didn't try, but hey, we had a good run, didn't we?"
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#5 modi123_1  Icon User is online

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Re: When Dad's a Dick (but not a DIC)

Posted 30 November 2012 - 08:36 AM

I'll do the leg work on the kid's jobs:



Quote

Surgeon’s wife Emily Crews-Montes was struggling to adapt to her new life in France when an email from her father pinged on to her smartphone.

Mother-of-three Emily, 40, who relocated to Brittany in 2009 after marrying a French doctor — who is the father of her two youngest children — was hoping for a few soothing words of parental comfort in response to her regular, anxious phone calls home about her life abroad.

The previous evening, Emily had regaled her mother Sarah, 67, with tales of woe about the loss of her high-flying career in Britain and her financial independence, the unfathomable ways of the French and the demands of family life.
...
Emily admits she was already pregnant when she married her first husband — a South African architect — and perhaps didn’t realise how tough life might be in France when she fell head over heels in love with Pierre.
...
Today, Emily, now working as a translator in France,



Quote

His 35-year-old son, a divorced father who recently re-married and had a second child, refuses to speak to his father until he gets an apology.
..
Today, his son works in a taxi office, but has had a variety of jobs including working as a pizza delivery driver.



Quote

The same goes for Mr Crews’ 38-year-old younger daughter, a single mother-of-two since her marriage broke up just over a year ago.

He is pleased she’s now working in a shop, but with her university degree in marine studies, couldn’t she be aiming a little higher?


http://www.dailymail...mily-apart.html
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#6 AthenaDX  Icon User is offline

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Re: When Dad's a Dick (but not a DIC)

Posted 30 November 2012 - 08:39 AM

There are some parents you just can't ever please. :/ The kids of these parents will either continue to strive, hoping for the impossible congradulations of their parentals, or just give up and hit mediocracy cause there's no reason to try.

There are so many ways of parenting, who knows what's the right way?
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#7 DarenR  Icon User is offline

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Re: When Dad's a Dick (but not a DIC)

Posted 30 November 2012 - 08:43 AM

IM sorry but I couldn't read past Cock--- thought it might be some girlie sex novel in the making.........
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#8 modi123_1  Icon User is online

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Re: When Dad's a Dick (but not a DIC)

Posted 30 November 2012 - 08:44 AM

After reading the actual letter and some of the back story from my other link above what this boils down to is simple - the dad is tried of the kids calling up and dumping on mom all the time. From the sound of the email this is only the constant in their communication. Nothing happy or cheerful, but "woe is me" on every... single... phone call. This is probably terribly upsetting to the mom and then, as things all do, shit rolls down hill to dad and he's finally had enough.

I envision some sort of British version of Debbie Downer on the phone and I can see how, after years and years of this, I would get pissed and push back.



http://www.telegraph...en-in-full.html
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#9 Xupicor  Icon User is offline

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Re: When Dad's a Dick (but not a DIC)

Posted 30 November 2012 - 08:50 AM

I don't think it's all that simple as applying "discipline". Some kids will surely benefit from it, some may be only even more irritated by it. I mean, some are just like that. And it's easy to become a discipline keeping punishing machine instead of a parent when you think it's a miracle medicine. It's not.

I'd also stand aside B9 on this one, but not without some doubt. I mean, B9 - what if all your siblings would be just like you? (No offence, you've already put yourself as the example of fuckup child, even though we all know it's not who you REALLY are.)

Yeah, well after reading trough the article I'm still doubtful.
So maybe his kids aren't what he dreamed of. But still... He didn't really provide the support he (he says so) wanted, rather just voiced frustration. So yeah, go daddy.


Is it soon enough to make a tiny offtopic?

Quote

I am the one who - once upon a time - changed boyfriends like underpants.

Every family dinner, there would be a new man. My brother referred to them as my "flavors of the month".
Wait... Okay, I won't voice it. But don't you call ME dirty. :P/>

This post has been edited by Xupicor: 30 November 2012 - 09:01 AM

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#10 modi123_1  Icon User is online

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Re: When Dad's a Dick (but not a DIC)

Posted 30 November 2012 - 08:50 AM

End game - I'll side with the father. If the kids would spend less time bitching and moaning to mom this wouldn't have come about. Sure his email was poorly worded but what do you expect for a naval veteran? I mean he *DID* spend twenty three years in a big black tube as a seamen.
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#11 baavgai  Icon User is offline

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Re: When Dad's a Dick (but not a DIC)

Posted 30 November 2012 - 08:52 AM

Dad fail. Adults are adults. He had his chance to prepare them for life. Once they leave, he doesn't get a say. He can choose to be supportive or a wanker. Clearly, he's made his choice.

View PostBenignDesign, on 30 November 2012 - 10:14 AM, said:

I dated them all, and I brought them all home to meet my family.


Bravo. Seriously. Must have taken a certain amount of fortitude.

I once asked my sister if she was gay. She asked, "would you bring ANYONE home to meet mom?!?" Point. Sis ain't stupid.
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#12 jjsaw5  Icon User is offline

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Re: When Dad's a Dick (but not a DIC)

Posted 30 November 2012 - 08:55 AM

View Postmodi123_1, on 30 November 2012 - 11:44 AM, said:

After reading the actual letter and some of the back story from my other link above what this boils down to is simple - the dad is tried of the kids calling up and dumping on mom all the time. From the sound of the email this is only the constant in their communication. Nothing happy or cheerful, but "woe is me" on every... single... phone call. This is probably terribly upsetting to the mom and then, as things all do, shit rolls down hill to dad and he's finally had enough.

I envision some sort of British version of Debbie Downer on the phone and I can see how, after years and years of this, I would get pissed and push back.



http://www.telegraph...en-in-full.html


I came to the same conclusion after reading everything. I'm sure having his wife constantly getting depressing phone calls from their children has made his home life wonderful.
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#13 BenignDesign  Icon User is offline

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Re: When Dad's a Dick (but not a DIC)

Posted 30 November 2012 - 09:00 AM

View PostXupicor, on 30 November 2012 - 10:50 AM, said:

Is it soon enough to make a tiny offtopic?

Quote

I am the one who - once upon a time - changed boyfriends like underpants.

Every family dinner, there would be a new man. My brother referred to them as my "flavors of the month".
Wait... Okay, I won't voice it. But don't you call ME dirty. :P/>


Find me one solitary passage on these boards where I've ever claimed to be a saint.

From the ages of 18-23, I was a nightmare of a child. An absolute nightmare.
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#14 Xupicor  Icon User is offline

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Re: When Dad's a Dick (but not a DIC)

Posted 30 November 2012 - 09:20 AM

View PostBenignDesign, on 30 November 2012 - 04:00 PM, said:

Find me one solitary passage on these boards where I've ever claimed to be a saint.
I've lost count on how many movies they made with that title, but I'm not a big fan of "Mission Impossible".

Quote

From the ages of 18-23, I was a nightmare of a child. An absolute nightmare.

I rather alluded to the funny fragments that could be used to deduce frequency of you changing your underpants to more or less either once a week or once a month. There, I had to kill the joke. It's on your conscience now.
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#15 BenignDesign  Icon User is offline

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Re: When Dad's a Dick (but not a DIC)

Posted 30 November 2012 - 09:24 AM

Your joke was dumb.

There, I said it.


:sleep1:






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