5 Replies - 779 Views - Last Post: 15 February 2002 - 02:34 PM

#1 SlashRaid  Icon User is offline

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New Liquor Labels

Posted 15 February 2002 - 08:39 AM

Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning
labels be placed immediately on all containers :


WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the #### happened to your bra.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you
are not.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over
again that you love them.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really
dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can have logical conversation with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have powers, resulting in
you getting your ass kicked.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on
the forehead, knees and lower back.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH
you.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.



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Replies To: New Liquor Labels

#2 EchoHype  Icon User is offline

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Re: New Liquor Labels

Posted 15 February 2002 - 10:20 AM

Quote

Quote: from SlashRaid on 10:39 am on Feb. 15, 2002
Due to increasing products liability litigation, American liquor manufacturers have accepted the FDA's suggestion that the following warning
labels be placed immediately on all containers :


WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the #### happened to your bra.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you
are not.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over
again that you love them.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause you to think you can sing.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really
dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can have logical conversation with other members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have powers, resulting in
you getting your ass kicked.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on
the forehead, knees and lower back.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH
you.

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may cause pregnancy.

Oh my! I totally agree with them!   #1 is my favorite =)

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#3 The Neoracle  Icon User is offline

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Re: New Liquor Labels

Posted 15 February 2002 - 10:50 AM

Quote

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

But, Dancing like a retard is WAY funner than dancing sober. Ask the whole country of spain (long story.)

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#4 supersloth  Icon User is offline

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Re: New Liquor Labels

Posted 15 February 2002 - 11:02 AM

bahahah.
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#5 Zuroxx  Icon User is offline

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Re: New Liquor Labels

Posted 15 February 2002 - 11:21 AM

Quote

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like a retard.

I can relate to that ;)
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#6 JainDough  Icon User is offline

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Re: New Liquor Labels

Posted 15 February 2002 - 02:34 PM

Quote

WARNING:
The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe you are invisible.

i've seen this happen to people before, its funny as #### when they dont realize there's a shitload of people around them.


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