[Programmist]

I would love it if I could get a f***ing tank of gas without having someone come up to me and ask me for change and then get all indignant and pissy when I tell them to go away. It's actually illegal in Dallas to panhandle, so they don't have signs anymore, but they find ways around the laws. They usually come in three varieties.

1. The hoverer: hoverers do exactly that. They hover near the convenience store (usually in front of a "No Loitering" sign) and pretend to be doing something. I saw one this morning. He wasn't there when I pulled up to get gas, but as I got out of my car I suddenly saw him sipping on a drink and looking around casually as if he didn't see me. What gave him away? Gee I dunno - could have been the lack of teeth or the clothes from "panhandlers R us." As soon as I saw him I said, "screw it", and drove off without gas. I just don't have the patience and I'm afraid one of these days I'm going to kick the s**t out of one of them when they walk off (empty-handed) muttering "asshole" under their breath. So I just avoid them wen possible for my own sake.

2. The sneak attacker: I still haven't figured out where these motherf***ers come from. I suspect that they wait across a street, at bus stop, or behind the building because I never see them. But, sure enough, as I'm finishing pumping gas, one will come around the side of the pump and say, "s'cuse me sir..." Luckily for them, they always make a wide arc and are far out of reach when they emerge, as if out of nowhere, from behind the pump.

3. The driver: Theses guys are the worst. They actually have a car, so they are often hard to spot. You'll be pumping your gas an they'll pull up to th other side of the pump and pretend like they are getting gas. But, before you can say "welfare check" thy will be asking you for "gas money." Don't offer to give them gas, though, because they will tell you that they just need the money because the gas is "too expensive at this station." Yeah.

I used to make excuses and say "I don't carry cash", or something like that. Now I just tell them to go away. Not in a mean way, but more in a your-life-depends-on-it way. Anyone else deal with this to this extent? Any stories of how you get rid of them?

This post has been edited by Programmist: 20 March 2008 - 05:13 AM

[RodgerB]

Tell them to f*ck off or you'll invoke Norton upon their souls and lock them up in quarantine, where they will be forced to rehabilitate or gtfo.

[thehat]

They do annoy me greatly, but maintaining some manners is important. I just say "Sorry, but no." Once these words are spoken I will carry on as if they don't exist.

[Nykc]

Manners my ass, I used to work downtown and these a-holes would forever pester me. I heard every excuse in the book. Granted there is a homeless shelter right down the street. There was a few times I bought some of them a sandwich. It is the dickweeds that want money for a bus ticket or gas that pisses me off. I am to the point now where I tell them to give me some money. That usually shuts them up.

[1lacca]

Interesting, here they avoid you if you are with a child (like some unwritten law).
Other than that, there was a guy standing right in my way every day. I gave him a couple of times, but after a while he went on my nerves because he wanted to talk, shake hands and whatever.
I got rid of him when I've lost (temporarily) some of my face in people, but I think I've never told him anything rude, he simply felt, that he won't get anything anymore from me.

Btw my favorite quote from one of them:

Quote

Hey Sir, could you spare 20HUF, that is all I need to buy my Ferrari

*20HUF = around 10cents

[no2pencil]

2 Stories....

1 time my friend encountered one with manors. He was holding the door open at a drug mart in DownTown Cleveland. He was doing this for change. At least he was DOING something. So my friend gives him his change from the purchase. The bum looks my friend right in the eye. WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH F**CKING PENNIES? & he threw them to the ground. Ungreatful bastard.

2.) Also in downtown Cleveland, there is a gas station, the last one that you'll see before you hit any of the 5 highways out of that slumtown. The bums will hide behind the dumpster & when you pull up, they will try to work on your car. I was only going to purchase a water, because we were thirsty from the concert & this idiot was going to put air into my tires! I screamed, DON'T TOUCH THE F***KING CAR! He kept saying "you're low man, you're low, let me get it. As soon as he put his hand on the fender (he was kneeling down to put air into my tire) I jumped back in & sped off. The sad part is, the place hasn't done anything about it, & this was at least 3 years ago.

[1lacca]

#1 happens really often

[PsychoCoder]

Thats why I love living out in the country, I never have to deal with them (anymore). Back "in the day" had to deal with them often, I did my best to maintain some civility but I really hated them

[Syntax_Terror]

The easiest way to get rid of these crotchrots is to offer them something better than money.... a fuckin job! Tell them, "All I can spare today is about $100.00, will that be enough? Once their eyes have glazed over, and they're standing there with their mouths open and drooling, tell them come on over and wash my car, cut, trim and edge my yard, weed the flower bed, and chop the last two piles of firewood... "

There is something quite satisfying watching that orgasmic look of hitting the jackpot fall off their face and turn to total confusion. They don't know what to do most of the time. They want the money, but not the work. They can't have one without the other... they're screwed and they know it. They'll say they're on disability, and can't work. So then offer to call the disability association and happily report to them that they aren't paying this poor guy enough because he's out here making a hundred dollars a day begging... They won't have any part of that.

I do have to say however about 1992, in Virginia, I saw a man with a sign, that said will work for food. He had a Van, and in it was his wife and two kids. I thought about it, turned around and went back and made a deal with the guy. I needed help building a deck that day, my helper was sick, So I gave his wife $20.00 and he hopped in my truck. She sped off to feed the kids and get gas. He worked his ever lovin ass off, and all he would take for a ten hour day of hard (and I mean HARD) work was two hot dogs at 7/11 and a Dr. Pepper. I offered the guy another $70 bucks at the end of the day and all he would say was "A deal is a deal". The next day, I stopped and picked him up again, and we worked out a deal we were both happy with. A week later I got him a job at a deck builder shop, loaned him the money for a week at a hotel, and bought a few groceries to try to help him out. Last I heard he was still working for Mike, living in his own house, and he and family are doing fine... Just goes to show you... not all of them are con artists.

and then there was an old man, blind, begging with a cookie pan at Walmart... Saw that bastard in Dennys a week later with a roll of bills that would make a bishop kick out a stain glass window....

You can never tell....

[thehat]

Nykc, on 20 Mar, 2008 - 01:25 PM, said:

Manners my ass

Yeah, reading some of these I guess I don't have the same kind of problems with them that you guys seem to.

I often have people trying to sell me some story of how they just need £1 to get the bus because their sister is busy dying on the other side of London, but when you point out that their sister was dying in a different place 3 days ago and she should maybe just be put down they back off. It's astonishing how poor a memory for faces they really have, but once it's clear that they're not getting anything they'll move on to the next person.

Never has one tried to mess with my car though, I suspect manners would desert me in that situation. In the words of Vincent Vega: "don't f*** with another man's vehicle."

[no2pencil]

Syntax_Terror, on 20 Mar, 2008 - 07:31 AM, said:

The easiest way to get rid of these crotchrots is to offer them something better than money.... a fuckin job!

True story. It was the 1st time I was in NYC, & considering moving there. So I was actually reading a job flier (from one of those free newspapers on the street) & some bums came up asking me for money, & I showed them where the bin with the job adds was. They didn't say another word & they started to walk away. So I got up off my butt & grabbed one & walked it over to these guys. They turned around & looked like they was going to stab me!

[supersloth]

i usually just got with the classic 'sorry man, only carry plastic', and just keep walking. doesn't bug me too much as long as they only ask once. *shrug*

[jjsaw5]

I've only had on experience with them, coming out of a restaurant in the city (Pittsburgh) a man approached me and my family and was begging for money. Before I could even get a word out both my parents (who work at the same company) simultaneously said "Doug?! Is that you? Doug Johnson"

The guy looked up and went "oh shit, please don't tell anyone about this please!!!???"

Here it was a guy that my parents work with. Lived in a nice house, drove a nice car, at the time was making 60,000 a year according to my parents, and he was out begging on the street at night for money.

[Thorian]

I was in a questionable area of ST Louis where I had been robbed before by one of these street urchins. One of the Sneak Attackers popped up out of know where with his hands in his pocket. Before he could ask for a dollar (more like gimme a dollar) I had a .32 out and on him and was ordering him to the ground. Lucky for me the cops did not choose to arrest me for that ass hats actions.

I fucking hate bums..

If they are in columbia I usually ask the guy if he is going to use it for beer or drugs if they say no I dont give them anything if they answer yes I will usually toss em a $5

[supersloth]

oh that does remind me, that last weekend i was downtown and had just parked my car on the way to the bar, a panhandler came up to me and asked for a buck or two 'so i can go get a drink or two, you know how it is man'. i would have actually thrown a dollar at him if i had any cash at the time.