My Kind of President

All intents, "I did not write this nor do I have anything against

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#1 codeMode  Icon User is offline

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My Kind of President

Posted 17 April 2008 - 02:47 AM

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WOULDN'T IT BE GREAT TO TURN ON THE TV AND HEAR ANY U.S. PRESIDENT, DEMOCRAT OR REPUBLICAN GIVE THE FOLLOWING SPEECH?

My Fellow Americans: As you all know, the defeat of the Iraq regime has been completed.
Since congress does not want to spend any more money on this war, our mission in Iraq is complete.

This morning I gave the order for a complete removal of all American forces from Iraq. This action will be complete within 30 days. It is now time to begin the reckoning.

Before me, I have two lists. One list contains the names of countries which have stood by our side during the Iraq conflict. This list is short . The United Kingdom, Spain , Bulgaria , Australia, and Poland are some of the countries listed there.

The other list contains every one not on the first list. Most of the world's nations are on that list. My press secretary will be distributing copies of both lists later this evening.

Let me start by saying that effective immediately, foreign aid to those nations on List 2 ceases immediately and indefinitely. The money saved during the first year alone will pretty much pay for the costs of the Iraqi war. THEN EVERY YEAR THERE AFTER It'll GO TO OUR SOCIAL SECURITY SYSTEM SO IT WONT GO BROKE IN 20 YEARS.

The American people are no longer going to pour money into third world Hellholes and watch those government leaders grow fat on corruption.

Need help with a famine ? Wrestling with an epidemic? Call France .

In the future, together with Congress, I will work to redirect this money toward solving the vexing social problems we still have at home .
On that note, a word to terrorist organizations. Screw with us and we will hunt you down and eliminate you and all your friends from the face of the earth.

Thirsting for a gutsy country to terrorize? Try France or maybe China .

I am ordering the immediate severing of diplomatic relations with France, Germany , and Russia Thanks for all your help, comrades. We are retiring from NATO as well. Bonne chance, mezamies.

I have instructed the Mayor of New York City to begin towing the many UN diplomatic vehicles located in Manhattan with more than two unpaid parking tickets to sites where those vehicles will be stripped, shredded and crushed. I don't care about whatever treaty pertains to this. You creeps have tens of thousands of unpaid tickets. Pay those tickets tomorrow or watch your precious Benzes, Beamers and limos be turned over to some of the finest chop shops in the world. I love New York

A special note to our neighbors. Canada is on List 2. Since we are likely to be seeing a lot more of each other, you folks might want to try not pissing us off for a change.

Mexico is also on List 2 its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment. I will have a couple extra thousand tanks and infantry divisions sitting around. Guess where I am going to put 'em? Yep, border security.

Oh, by the way, the United States is abrogating the NAFTA treaty - starting now. We are tired of the one-way highway. Immediately, we'll be drilling for oil in Alaska - which will take care of this country's oil needs for decades to come. If you're an environmentalist who opposes this decision, I refer you to List 2 above: pick a country and move there.

It is time for America to focus on its own welfare and its own citizens. Some will accuse us of isolationism. I answer them by saying, "darn tootin."

Nearly a century of trying to help folks live a decent life around the world has only earned us the undying enmity of just about everyone on the planet. It is time to eliminate hunger in America It is time to eliminate homelessness in America . To the nations on List 1, a final thought. Thank you guys. We owe you and we won't forget.

To the nations on List 2, a final thought: You might want to learn to speak Arabic.

God bless America. Thank you and good night.

If you can read this, thank a teacher. If you are reading it in English, thank a soldier.


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Replies To: My Kind of President

#2 KYA  Icon User is offline

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Re: My Kind of President

Posted 17 April 2008 - 03:18 AM

This is AWESOME!!! :^:

Great find, where was it? :) :) :)

I especially like the official response to list 2 countries--fuck off.


This keeps things monetary wise--in perspective, which most of America constantly loses.
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#3 codeMode  Icon User is offline

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Re: My Kind of President

Posted 17 April 2008 - 04:33 AM

View PostKYA, on 17 Apr, 2008 - 03:18 AM, said:

Great find, where was it? :) :) :)

It's a floater in my work area. I thought I would share this inspirational masterpiece.
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#4 KYA  Icon User is offline

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Re: My Kind of President

Posted 17 April 2008 - 04:55 AM

I'll post again just to comment on this article's complete and utter awesomeness.
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#5 jjsaw5  Icon User is offline

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Re: My Kind of President

Posted 17 April 2008 - 05:14 AM

It would be nice for the war to end. Hopefully when after the election the new Pres will remove the troops as their 1st duty in office.
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#6 Nykc  Icon User is offline

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Re: My Kind of President

Posted 17 April 2008 - 05:27 AM

It's not that simple, you can't just pull everyone out like that it will defeat the purpose. However this war would have ended long long time ago had we not been told to stay out of Mosques. So common sense from a terrorist perspective, let's hide in Mosques the US won't have the balls to go in there.

GRRR. 1 Bomb this war would have been done and over with.
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#7 Amadeus  Icon User is offline

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Re: My Kind of President

Posted 17 April 2008 - 05:40 AM

@codeMode and KYA

Perhaps you may have wanted to scan the article for actual accuracy before advocating it's awesomeness. I understand there is a tendency for some (often younger) people to take everything at face value, but to blindly accept everything one is presented with indicates a lack of intelligence.

There are several inaccuracies in the article itself, but I'll focus on one - it mentions that Canada did not have any troops deployed to Iraq, but utterly fails to mention that Canada has thousands of troops deployed to Afghanistan to support US military actions, has for years, and have recently extended those deployments. Canada has traditionally supported US military action, and as close allies, will no doubt continue to do so.

The further inference that Canadians unilaterally do not support US military action is also incorrect - the percentage of Canadian individuals who do not support the US in Iraq is actually the same as the percentages of US citizens themselves.

The article does not seem to mention the millions of man hours, dollars and thousands of volunteers Canada supplied on and after 9/11 - the more than hundreds of off duty police, fire, and medical professionals that took it upon themselves to go down to NYC to see what they could do. It does not mention the fact that Canada opened up all airspace avenues in order to to allow hundreds of US flights to land safely, despite the fact there was no guarantee these planes did not also hold terrorists.

I'm assuming you do not actually have an understanding of NAFTA is, otherwise you'd immediately see the error in that paragraph. The US is the clear winner in NAFTA - it allows US industries to whatever nation provides the cheapest labour - that was a clause insisted on by the US Government during negotiations. In a review of more than 35 disputes that have been filed against the NAFTA accords by member nations, the ruling has been in favour of the US 27 times. In a 5 of the eight cases in which the ruling went against the US, they have have refused to comply with that ruling.

I would like to state for the record that I, and many other Canadians, consider the US to be our closest allies and friends. We will always do what we can to support the US. that being said, would you bend over and take it up the chute if your best friend said you should? Or would you present your point of view for discussion and hope your friend would not dismiss you out of hand?

If there is a problem in the US (and I'm not saying there is), it's not with foreign aid. It's with narrow minded individuals who cannot be bothered to educate themselves before making decisions.

Perhaps you're mentally challenged and don't know any better. If that is the case, please have someone read my post to you, and I'll be happy to provide supporting material.

If that's not the case, then you're simply a fucking idiot. I surmise you'll never be anyone who provides value to anything. People like you make me weep for the future.

To the rest of the board, apologies for my long winded reply and use of foul language.
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#8 PsychoCoder  Icon User is offline

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Re: My Kind of President

Posted 17 April 2008 - 05:48 AM

View PostcodeMode, on 17 Apr, 2008 - 02:47 AM, said:

Mexico is also on List 2 its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment.


That is so funny, considering right now we have the most crooked, morally bankrupt administration in history. As for the List 1 and List 2, I would have to say List 2 is better, since they're the ones who didn't support this asinine war in Iraq, hats off to you, List #1 is a list or war mongers, just like our current President.

Though I have never supported this war (and have had no problems expressing that fact lol) NYKC is right, we cant just pull out now, we started this fiasco now we need to finish it. Would have been better had we not been lied to to get support for this unnecessary war in the first place. But you see, to this administration it's far better to lie to get the country into a war, leak a CIA operatives name so she gets killed, pardon said administration executives who leaked the name, than it is to have an extra-marital affair.

Boy we got some grand leadership don't we?


@Amadeus: *Stands and applauds* Well said my friend, well said :)

This post has been edited by PsychoCoder: 17 April 2008 - 05:51 AM

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#9 KYA  Icon User is offline

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Re: My Kind of President

Posted 17 April 2008 - 06:01 AM

View PostNykc, on 17 Apr, 2008 - 06:27 AM, said:

It's not that simple, you can't just pull everyone out like that it will defeat the purpose. However this war would have ended long long time ago had we not been told to stay out of Mosques. So common sense from a terrorist perspective, let's hide in Mosques the US won't have the balls to go in there.

GRRR. 1 Bomb this war would have been done and over with.


Thats because we HAVE to play by the rules. Rouge insurgents do not.


Quote

Amadeus's post....


Allow me to clarify what I thought was awesome:

Telling countries that won't help/support us to fuck off. The rest of it was trash. I'm not for a troop pullout. I like NAFTA. I also like Canadians.
A president that will tell the world to go sit on it was the actual awesomeness I was referring to. Having a commander in chief show some intestinal fortitude would be awesome.

What I said in my original post was the lost perspective that the US spends a helluva lot of money supporting other nations, not just on warlike activities.

Thanks for calling me a fucking idiot :^:

This post has been edited by KYA: 17 April 2008 - 06:04 AM

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#10 Amadeus  Icon User is offline

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Re: My Kind of President

Posted 17 April 2008 - 06:05 AM

Consider it a public service.
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#11 jjsaw5  Icon User is offline

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Re: My Kind of President

Posted 17 April 2008 - 06:06 AM

View PostPsychoCoder, on 17 Apr, 2008 - 07:48 AM, said:

View PostcodeMode, on 17 Apr, 2008 - 02:47 AM, said:

Mexico is also on List 2 its president and his entire corrupt government really need an attitude adjustment.


That is so funny, considering right now we have the most crooked, morally bankrupt administration in history. As for the List 1 and List 2, I would have to say List 2 is better, since they're the ones who didn't support this asinine war in Iraq, hats off to you, List #1 is a list or war mongers, just like our current President.

Though I have never supported this war (and have had no problems expressing that fact lol) NYKC is right, we cant just pull out now, we started this fiasco now we need to finish it. Would have been better had we not been lied to to get support for this unnecessary war in the first place. But you see, to this administration it's far better to lie to get the country into a war, leak a CIA operatives name so she gets killed, pardon said administration executives who leaked the name, than it is to have an extra-marital affair.

Boy we got some grand leadership don't we?


@Amadeus: *Stands and applauds* Well said my friend, well said :)



I agree, I think i should have stated that it would be nice *IF* lol that could happen unfortunately i know we can't just pull them out.

But it would be nice if we could and end it.
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#12 KYA  Icon User is offline

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Re: My Kind of President

Posted 17 April 2008 - 06:07 AM

View PostAmadeus, on 17 Apr, 2008 - 07:05 AM, said:

Consider it a public service.


Would this be an instance of dripping sarcasm not conveying correctly in a text based format?
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#13 Nykc  Icon User is offline

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Re: My Kind of President

Posted 17 April 2008 - 06:11 AM

@KYA - (subject change warning!!!)

I totally kicked Kirby's ass in Super Smash Bros.
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#14 Amadeus  Icon User is offline

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Re: My Kind of President

Posted 17 April 2008 - 06:12 AM

No sarcasm intended.
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#15 codeMode  Icon User is offline

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Re: My Kind of President

Posted 17 April 2008 - 06:33 AM

@Amadeus

Just something fun to read. No need for harsh responses.
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