jokes

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398 Replies - 49595 Views - Last Post: 08 October 2013 - 01:20 PM

#1 BetaWar  Icon User is offline

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jokes

Posted 19 August 2008 - 02:00 PM

Pretty simple and everything. Got a good joke? Post it here!

Here is one that isn't much of a joke but I still find humorous:

Quote

Be careful who you call your friend, they can see your privates.


<edit>
Made the topic broader
</edit>

This post has been edited by BetaWar: 19 August 2008 - 05:05 PM


Replies To: jokes

#2 KYA  Icon User is offline

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Re: jokes

Posted 19 August 2008 - 09:27 PM

I don't get it.

#3 OliveOyl3471  Icon User is offline

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Re: jokes

Posted 19 August 2008 - 10:01 PM

Remember Picabo Street?

The famous Olympic skier Picabo Street
(pronounced Pee-Ka-Boo)
is not just an athlete ... she is now a nurse
currently working at an Intensive Care Unit
of a large me tropolitan hospital.
She is not permitted to answer the hospital telephones any longer.
It caused too much confusion when she would answer the phone and say,
Picabo, I.C.U.

#4 Guest_Whizzy*


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Re: jokes

Posted 19 August 2008 - 10:12 PM

View PostKYA, on 19 Aug, 2008 - 09:27 PM, said:

I don't get it.


Best as I can tell it 's a computer joke about declaring your class variables PRIVATE....

#5 BetaWar  Icon User is offline

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Re: jokes

Posted 24 August 2008 - 07:10 PM

Quote

Best as I can tell it 's a computer joke about declaring your class variables PRIVATE....

Ding ding ding whizzy is correct!

#6 jacobjordan  Icon User is offline

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Re: jokes

Posted 24 August 2008 - 09:26 PM

Here's a few geeky jokes

Q: What's a polar bear?
A: A rectangular bear after a coordinate transform!

Q: How many mathematicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: 0.99999...

Q: What do you get when you cross an elephant with a banana?
A: Elephant banana cosine theta perpendicular to both, oriented via the right hand rule.

#7 gabehabe  Icon User is offline

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Re: jokes

Posted 25 August 2008 - 05:37 AM

So's your face.

#8 KYA  Icon User is offline

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Re: jokes

Posted 25 August 2008 - 03:03 PM

Thanks whizzy, now that I get it, that's hilarious.


**adult joke**

(added highlight)


Two prostitutes are standing on a street corner.
The first one says "It's going to be a great night!"
"Why?" asked the second
"I can smell the cock in the air" replies the first.
"Oh sorry, I burped..."


edited since gabe's idea made good sense

This post has been edited by KYA: 25 August 2008 - 03:48 PM


#9 gabehabe  Icon User is offline

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Re: jokes

Posted 25 August 2008 - 03:26 PM

** another adult joke **

(highlight)

Why did the man buy his wife a coat and a dildo for her birthday?
He figured if she didn't like the coat, she could go fuck herself.


#10 KYA  Icon User is offline

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Re: jokes

Posted 25 August 2008 - 03:47 PM

LOL :^:

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Re: jokes

Posted 25 August 2008 - 07:45 PM

Young Chuck moved to Texas and bought a donkey from a farmer for $100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the donkey the next day. The next day he drove up and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died."

Chuck replied, "Well, then just give me my money back."

The farmer said, "Can't do that. I went and spent it already."

Chuck said, "Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey."

The farmer asked, "What ya gonna do with him?"

Chuck said, "I'm going to raffle him off."

The farmer said, "You can't raffle off a dead donkey!"

Chuck said, "Sure I can, watch me. I just won't tell anybody he's dead."

A month later, the farmer met up with Chuck and asked, "What
happened with that dead donkey?"

Chuck said, "I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two dollars a piece and made a profit of $898.00."

The farmer said, "Didn't anyone complain?"

Chuck said, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two dollars back."

#12 jacobjordan  Icon User is offline

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Re: jokes

Posted 25 August 2008 - 08:27 PM

That's more of a story than a joke. Seriously, it was good, but it really wasn't funny.

#13 KYA  Icon User is offline

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Re: jokes

Posted 25 August 2008 - 08:44 PM

It was both funny and entertaining :)

#14 gabehabe  Icon User is offline

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Re: jokes

Posted 26 August 2008 - 04:34 AM

That story was full of win :^:

#15 OliveOyl3471  Icon User is offline

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Re: jokes

Posted 26 August 2008 - 05:31 AM

A man and his wife go deer hunting together. They split up, with the wife on one side of the woods and the husband on the other.
Suddenly the woman spots a huge deer, takes aim and fires. The deer falls instantly. She goes running up to it when she sees a man standing next to it, looking stunned to see her. She tells him, "back away from my deer, mister." He tells her, "I'm sorry ma'am but that's my..." She cuts him off and says again, "no. It is mine. Get away from it." He protests again, "but it's my..." And again she cuts him off. She cocks the gun, aims it at his head and says, "I said that deer is mine. You better get away from it." So he puts up his hands as he tells her, "Yes, ma'am. That deer is yours. Take it. But please, let me get my saddle off him first."

This post has been edited by OliveOyl3471: 26 August 2008 - 05:32 AM


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