jokes

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398 Replies - 51056 Views - Last Post: 08 October 2013 - 01:20 PM

#16 Guest_Whizzy*


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Re: jokes

Posted 26 August 2008 - 06:34 AM

Jokes are not always a question, with a punch line. An amusing story that is funny could be considered to be a joke... for story of the night you were conceived was funny as hell....


The company boss was complaining in a staff meeting that he wasn't getting any respect. Later that morning he went to a local sign shop and bought a small sign that read:

"I'm the Boss!"

He then taped it to his office door.
Later that day when he returned from lunch, he found that someone had taped a note to the sign that said:

"Your wife called, she wants her sign back!"


Here's anoth one I like...

A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word. An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.
As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats and pigs, the husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"
"Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

#17 KYA  Icon User is offline

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Re: jokes

Posted 26 August 2008 - 07:21 AM

:lol:

#18 gabehabe  Icon User is offline

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Re: jokes

Posted 26 August 2008 - 01:45 PM

Another adult joke: (highlight)

This woman is sick and tired of her husband, just going to the pub with his mates every day, and not showing any sexual interest in her. One day, he comes back home, and tells her to strip off. Excited, she hurries to do so. He then tells her to do a handstand up against the mirror. The woman thinks this is a strange request, but is too excited to resist. Then, the man walks towards her slowly, and rests his chin on her pussy. "The lads were right." He said. "A beard wouldn't suit me."

#19 KYA  Icon User is offline

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Re: jokes

Posted 26 August 2008 - 03:21 PM

LMFAO

#20 gabehabe  Icon User is offline

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Re: jokes

Posted 27 August 2008 - 08:04 AM

Yet another adult joke:

(highlight)
A guy dies whilst making love to his wife. A few days later the undertaker calls her and says, "Your husband still has a hard-on, what shall I do with it?" The wife replies, "Cut it off and shove it up his arse!" The undertaker does as he is told. On the day of the funeral the wife visits her husband for the last time and sees a tear rolling down his face, so she whispers in his ear, "It fucking hurts doesn't it!"

#21 abgorn  Icon User is offline

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Re: jokes

Posted 29 August 2008 - 03:11 PM

Q. How did the programmer die in the shower?
A. He read the shampoo bottle instructions: Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

#22 Guest_Whizzy*


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Re: jokes

Posted 29 August 2008 - 06:18 PM

I don't get it.

#23 abgorn  Icon User is offline

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Re: jokes

Posted 30 August 2008 - 03:55 AM

It's a loop

#24 Guest_Whizzy*


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Re: jokes

Posted 30 August 2008 - 07:45 AM

Oh... I don't get it. Loops don't kill. Maybe it should read:


Q. How did the programmer get trapped in the shower.

A. He was caught in the loop, Lather, rinse, repeat.


Maybe it's just me... meh... shrug...

This post has been edited by Whizzy: 30 August 2008 - 07:48 AM


#25 KYA  Icon User is offline

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Re: jokes

Posted 30 August 2008 - 07:45 AM

an infinite loop might *cue dramatic music*

This post has been edited by KYA: 30 August 2008 - 07:46 AM


#26 gabehabe  Icon User is offline

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Re: jokes

Posted 30 August 2008 - 08:07 AM

That joke was not full of win.

Spoiler: highlight this post.

#27 jacobjordan  Icon User is offline

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Re: jokes

Posted 30 August 2008 - 12:15 PM

View PostWhizzy, on 30 Aug, 2008 - 09:45 AM, said:

Oh... I don't get it. Loops don't kill. Maybe it should read:


Q. How did the programmer get trapped in the shower.

A. He was caught in the loop, Lather, rinse, repeat.


Maybe it's just me... meh... shrug...

Definitely not; abgorn's way is a LOT funnier.

Am i the only one on this thread that finds that joke lol funny?

#28 BetaWar  Icon User is offline

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Re: jokes

Posted 30 August 2008 - 02:01 PM

No, I enjoyed it too, just didn't worry about posting at the time.

Here are a couple:

I wish I was your derivative so I could play tangent to your curves.


I wish I was your second derivative so I could explore your concavity.

#29 KYA  Icon User is offline

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Re: jokes

Posted 30 August 2008 - 02:33 PM

View PostBetaWar, on 30 Aug, 2008 - 02:01 PM, said:

I wish I was your derivative so I could play tangent to your curves.

I wish I was your second derivative so I could explore your concavity.


You don't know how close i was to masturbating to your calculus jokes. :^: :^: :^:

#30 abgorn  Icon User is offline

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Re: jokes

Posted 30 August 2008 - 02:39 PM

View PostKYA, on 30 Aug, 2008 - 02:33 PM, said:

View PostBetaWar, on 30 Aug, 2008 - 02:01 PM, said:

I wish I was your derivative so I could play tangent to your curves.

I wish I was your second derivative so I could explore your concavity.


You don't know how close i was to masturbating to your calculus jokes. :^: :^: :^:

Ummm.... that was kinda strange.....

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