New Topic/Question
If Microsoft Built Cars
1. Every time they repainted the lines on the road, you'd have to buy a
new car.
2. Occasionally your car would just die on the motorway for no reason;
accept this, restart and drive on.
3. Occasionally, executing a maneuver would cause your car to stop and
fail to restart and you'd have to re-install the engine. For some
strange reason, you'd just accept this too.
4. You could only have one person in the car at a time, unless you
bought a "Car 95" or a "Car NT". But then you'd have to buy more seats.
5. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, was twice as
reliable, five times as fast, twice as easy to drive - but it would only
run on five percent of the roads.
6. The Macintosh car owners would get expensive Microsoft upgrades to
their cars which would make their cars go much slower.
7. The oil, engine, gas and alternator warning lights would be replaced
with a single "General Car Fault" warning light.
8. People would get excited about the "new" features in Microsoft cars,
forgetting completely that they had been available in other cars for many
years.
9. We'd all have to switch to Microsoft gas and all auto fluids but the
packaging would be supurb.
10. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.
11. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off.
12. If you were involved in a crash, you would have no idea what
happened.
13. They wouldn't build their own engines, but form a cartel with their
engine suppliers. The latest engine would have 16 cylinders, multi-point
fuel injection and 4 turbos, but it would be a side-valve design so you
could use Model-T Ford parts on it.
14. There would be an "Engine Pro" with bigger turbos, but it would be
slower on most existing roads.
15. Microsoft cars would have a special radio/cassette player which would
only be able to listen to Microsoft FM, and play Microsoft Cassettes.
Unless of course, you buy the upgrade to use existing stuff.
16. Microsoft would do so well, because even though they don't own any
roads, all of the road manufacturers would give away Microsoft cars free,
including IBM!
17. If you still ran old versions of car (ie. CarDOS 6.22/CarWIN 3.11),
then you would be called old fashioned, but you would be able to drive
much faster, and on more roads!
18. If you couldn't afford to buy a new car, then you could just borrow
your friend's, and then copy it.
19. Whenever you bought a car, you would have to reorganize the ignition
for a few days before it worked.
20. You would need to buy an upgrade to run cars on a motorway next to
each other.
18 Replies - 1282 Views - Last Post: 01 December 2003 - 03:37 PM
#1
skyhawk133
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Funny... but old jokes
Posted 28 November 2003 - 01:04 PM
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#2
skyhawk133
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Re: Funny... but old jokes
Posted 28 November 2003 - 01:04 PM
TOP 10 reasons computers are male:
10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless
9. A better model is always just around the corner.
8. They look nice and shinny until you bring them home.
7. It is always necessary to have a backup.
6. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
3. The lights are on the but nobody home.
2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.
1. Size does matter.
Here the quid pro quo:
TOP 10 reasons compilers are female:
10. Picky, picky, picky.
9. They hear what you say, but not what you mean.
8. Beauty is only shell deep.
7. When you ask what's wrong, they say "nothing".
6. Can produce incorrect results with alarming speed.
5. Always turning simple statements into big productions.
4. Small talk is important.
3. You do the same thing for years, and suddenly it's wrong.
2. They make you take the garbage out.
1. Miss a period and they go wild.
10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless
9. A better model is always just around the corner.
8. They look nice and shinny until you bring them home.
7. It is always necessary to have a backup.
6. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
3. The lights are on the but nobody home.
2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.
1. Size does matter.
Here the quid pro quo:
TOP 10 reasons compilers are female:
10. Picky, picky, picky.
9. They hear what you say, but not what you mean.
8. Beauty is only shell deep.
7. When you ask what's wrong, they say "nothing".
6. Can produce incorrect results with alarming speed.
5. Always turning simple statements into big productions.
4. Small talk is important.
3. You do the same thing for years, and suddenly it's wrong.
2. They make you take the garbage out.
1. Miss a period and they go wild.
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#3
skyhawk133
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Re: Funny... but old jokes
Posted 28 November 2003 - 01:05 PM
If restaurant functions like PC Support Group)
Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be
the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.
.......
Patron: No, it's still there.
Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork
instead.
.......
Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl;
what kind of bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem; how was the
bowl set up?
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in
my soup?!
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your
soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?
Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is recooked every hour.
Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?
Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.
Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late now.
Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and
the check)
Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.
Patron: This is potato soup.
Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup isn't ready yet.
Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.
(Waiter leaves.)
Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!
(The check:)
Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . . . . $2.50
Access to support . . . . . . . . . . . ..$1.00
Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be
the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.
.......
Patron: No, it's still there.
Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork
instead.
.......
Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl;
what kind of bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem; how was the
bowl set up?
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in
my soup?!
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your
soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?
Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is recooked every hour.
Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?
Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.
Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late now.
Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and
the check)
Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.
Patron: This is potato soup.
Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup isn't ready yet.
Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.
(Waiter leaves.)
Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!
(The check:)
Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . . . . $2.50
Access to support . . . . . . . . . . . ..$1.00
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#4
skyhawk133
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Re: Funny... but old jokes
Posted 28 November 2003 - 01:09 PM
Real life cybersex By Greg Grabianski
WELLHUNG: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like??
SWEETHEART: I am wearing a red silk blouse and a miniskirt and high heels.
My measurements are 36-24-36. I work out every day. I'm toned and perfect.
What do you look like?
WELLHUNG: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair
of blue sweat pants I just bought at Wal-Mart. I am also wearing a T-shirt
with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner--it smells a little
funny.
SWEETHEART: I want you. Would you like to fuck me?
WELLHUNG: OK.
SWEETHEART: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo
and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking into your eyes,
smiling. My hand works it way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your
huge, swelling bulge.
WELLHUNG: I'm gulping. I'm beginning to sweat.
SWEETHEART: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
WELLHUNG: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.
SWEETHEART: I'm moaning softly.
WELLHUNG: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.
SWEETHEART: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides off
my warm skin. I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.
WELLHUNG: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and I accidentally rip a hole
in your blouse. I'm sorry.
SWEETHEART: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.
WELLHUNG: I'll pay for it.
SWEETHEART: Don't worry about it. I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft
breasts are rising and falling, rising and falling, rising and falling, as
I breathe harder and harder.
WELLHUNG: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra. I think it's stuck. Do
you have any scissors.
SWEETHEART: I take you hand and kiss it softly. I'm reaching back and
unbuttoning the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my
breasts. My nipples are erect for you.
WELLHUNG: How did you do that?? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the
clasp.
SWEETHEART: I'm arching my back. Oh, baby. I just want to feel your tongue
all over me.
WELLHUNG: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts.
They're neat!
SWEETHEART: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling on
your ear.
WELLHUNG: I suddenly sneeze. You're breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.
SWEETHEART: What?
WELLHUNG: I'm so sorry. Really.
SWEETHEART: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my
blouse.
WELLHUNG: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a (plop)
SWEETHEART: OK. I'm now pulling down your sweatpants and grabbing your cock.
WELLHUNG: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold!! Yeeeee!!
SWEETHEART: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
WELLHUNG: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out, nibbling on your... ummm... wait a minute.
SWEETHEART: What's the matter??
WELLHUNG: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.
SWEETHEART: Are you OK??
WELLHUNG: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning red.
SWEETHEART: Can I help??
WELLHUNG: I'm running into the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling though
the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups??
SWEETHEART: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
WELLHUNG: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.
SWEETHEART: Come back to me, lover.
WELLHUNG: I'm washing the cup, now.
SWEETHEART: I'm on the bed, aching for you.
WELLHUNG: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And
now I'm walking back into the bedroom. Wait, it's dark. I'm lost. Where's
the bedroom??
SWEETHEART: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
WELLHUNG: I found it.
SWEETHEART: I'm tugging off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.
WELLHUNG: Me too.
SWEETHEART: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-- our naked bodies
pressing against each other.
WELLHUNG: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.
SWEETHEART: Why don't you take off your glasses?
WELLHUNG: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses
on the night table.
SWEETHEART: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!
WELLHUNG: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and
toward the bathroom.
SWEETHEART: Hurry back, Lover.
WELLHUNG: I find the bathroom. It's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet.
I lift the lid.
SWEETHEART: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
WELLHUNG: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I
can't find it. Uh-oh!!
SWEETHEART: What's the matter now?
WELLHUNG: I've realized that I've peed in your laundry hamper. Sorry again.
I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.
SWEETHEART: Mmmm, yes. Come on.
WELLHUNG: OK, now I'm going to put my... you know... thing... in your...
you know... woman's thing.
SWEETHEART: YES! Do it, baby! Do it!
WELLHUNG: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your
neck. Ummm. I'm having a little trouble here.
SWEETHEART: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it
another second! Slide it in! Fuck me now!!
WELLHUNG: I'm flaccid.
SWEETHEART: What?
WELLHUNG: I'm limp. I cant' sustain an erection.
SWEETHEART: I'm standing up and turning around, an incredulous look on my
face.
WELLHUNG: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my wiener all floppy.
I'm gong to get my glasses and see what's wrong.
SWEETHEART: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my
underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet, nasty blouse.
WELLHUNG: No, wait!! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table.
I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture
frames and your candles.
SWEETHEART: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.
WELLHUNG: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God!! One of your
candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire!! I'm pointing at it,
a shocked look on my face.
SWEETHEART: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!!
WELLHUNG: Now the carpet is on fire!!! Oh, noooooo!!
WELLHUNG: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like??
SWEETHEART: I am wearing a red silk blouse and a miniskirt and high heels.
My measurements are 36-24-36. I work out every day. I'm toned and perfect.
What do you look like?
WELLHUNG: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds. I wear glasses and I have on a pair
of blue sweat pants I just bought at Wal-Mart. I am also wearing a T-shirt
with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner--it smells a little
funny.
SWEETHEART: I want you. Would you like to fuck me?
WELLHUNG: OK.
SWEETHEART: We're in my bedroom. There's soft music playing on the stereo
and candles on my dresser and night table. I'm looking into your eyes,
smiling. My hand works it way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your
huge, swelling bulge.
WELLHUNG: I'm gulping. I'm beginning to sweat.
SWEETHEART: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
WELLHUNG: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.
SWEETHEART: I'm moaning softly.
WELLHUNG: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.
SWEETHEART: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure. The cool silk slides off
my warm skin. I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.
WELLHUNG: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and I accidentally rip a hole
in your blouse. I'm sorry.
SWEETHEART: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.
WELLHUNG: I'll pay for it.
SWEETHEART: Don't worry about it. I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft
breasts are rising and falling, rising and falling, rising and falling, as
I breathe harder and harder.
WELLHUNG: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra. I think it's stuck. Do
you have any scissors.
SWEETHEART: I take you hand and kiss it softly. I'm reaching back and
unbuttoning the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my
breasts. My nipples are erect for you.
WELLHUNG: How did you do that?? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the
clasp.
SWEETHEART: I'm arching my back. Oh, baby. I just want to feel your tongue
all over me.
WELLHUNG: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts.
They're neat!
SWEETHEART: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling on
your ear.
WELLHUNG: I suddenly sneeze. You're breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.
SWEETHEART: What?
WELLHUNG: I'm so sorry. Really.
SWEETHEART: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my
blouse.
WELLHUNG: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a (plop)
SWEETHEART: OK. I'm now pulling down your sweatpants and grabbing your cock.
WELLHUNG: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold!! Yeeeee!!
SWEETHEART: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
WELLHUNG: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out, nibbling on your... ummm... wait a minute.
SWEETHEART: What's the matter??
WELLHUNG: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.
SWEETHEART: Are you OK??
WELLHUNG: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning red.
SWEETHEART: Can I help??
WELLHUNG: I'm running into the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling though
the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups??
SWEETHEART: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
WELLHUNG: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.
SWEETHEART: Come back to me, lover.
WELLHUNG: I'm washing the cup, now.
SWEETHEART: I'm on the bed, aching for you.
WELLHUNG: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And
now I'm walking back into the bedroom. Wait, it's dark. I'm lost. Where's
the bedroom??
SWEETHEART: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
WELLHUNG: I found it.
SWEETHEART: I'm tugging off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.
WELLHUNG: Me too.
SWEETHEART: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-- our naked bodies
pressing against each other.
WELLHUNG: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.
SWEETHEART: Why don't you take off your glasses?
WELLHUNG: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses
on the night table.
SWEETHEART: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!
WELLHUNG: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and
toward the bathroom.
SWEETHEART: Hurry back, Lover.
WELLHUNG: I find the bathroom. It's dark. I'm feeling around for the toilet.
I lift the lid.
SWEETHEART: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.
WELLHUNG: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I
can't find it. Uh-oh!!
SWEETHEART: What's the matter now?
WELLHUNG: I've realized that I've peed in your laundry hamper. Sorry again.
I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.
SWEETHEART: Mmmm, yes. Come on.
WELLHUNG: OK, now I'm going to put my... you know... thing... in your...
you know... woman's thing.
SWEETHEART: YES! Do it, baby! Do it!
WELLHUNG: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your
neck. Ummm. I'm having a little trouble here.
SWEETHEART: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it
another second! Slide it in! Fuck me now!!
WELLHUNG: I'm flaccid.
SWEETHEART: What?
WELLHUNG: I'm limp. I cant' sustain an erection.
SWEETHEART: I'm standing up and turning around, an incredulous look on my
face.
WELLHUNG: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my wiener all floppy.
I'm gong to get my glasses and see what's wrong.
SWEETHEART: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my
underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet, nasty blouse.
WELLHUNG: No, wait!! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table.
I'm feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture
frames and your candles.
SWEETHEART: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.
WELLHUNG: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God!! One of your
candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire!! I'm pointing at it,
a shocked look on my face.
SWEETHEART: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!!
WELLHUNG: Now the carpet is on fire!!! Oh, noooooo!!
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#5
supersloth
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Re: Funny... but old jokes
Posted 28 November 2003 - 01:29 PM
You should stop posting internet forwards. I think it would be for the best.
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#6
skyhawk133
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Re: Funny... but old jokes
Posted 28 November 2003 - 01:33 PM
They are from a site I clicked off a SlashDot post... linked from our homepage.
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#7
supersloth
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Re: Funny... but old jokes
Posted 28 November 2003 - 01:35 PM
ahh yes, but at slashdot they used it as an example of cliched old jokes everyone gets in their inbox which pertains because car makers may start using the windows ce operating system. in their case it was forgiveable.
and you coulda at least put them all in one thread
and you coulda at least put them all in one thread
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#8
skyhawk133
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Re: Funny... but old jokes
Posted 28 November 2003 - 01:48 PM
Merged... happy.
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#9
supersloth
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Re: Funny... but old jokes
Posted 28 November 2003 - 02:09 PM
skyhawk133, on Nov 28 2003, 01:48 PM, said:
Merged... happy.
quite.
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#11
supersloth
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Re: Funny... but old jokes
Posted 28 November 2003 - 02:26 PM
JainDough, on Nov 28 2003, 02:10 PM, said:
this thread blows me.
what doesnt?
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#12
skyhawk133
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Re: Funny... but old jokes
Posted 28 November 2003 - 02:27 PM
supersloth, on Nov 28 2003, 02:26 PM, said:
JainDough, on Nov 28 2003, 02:10 PM, said:
this thread blows me.
what doesnt?
You don't
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#13
supersloth
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Re: Funny... but old jokes
Posted 29 November 2003 - 12:07 AM
skyhawk133, on Nov 28 2003, 02:27 PM, said:
supersloth, on Nov 28 2003, 02:26 PM, said:
JainDough, on Nov 28 2003, 02:10 PM, said:
this thread blows me.
what doesnt?
You don't
You blow your brother.
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#14
Reflex Life
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Re: Funny... but old jokes
Posted 29 November 2003 - 08:00 AM
skyhawk133, on Nov 28 2003, 02:04 PM, said:
TOP 10 reasons computers are male:
10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless
9. A better model is always just around the corner.
8. They look nice and shinny until you bring them home.
7. It is always necessary to have a backup.
6. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
3. The lights are on the but nobody home.
2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.
1. Size does matter.
Here the quid pro quo:
TOP 10 reasons compilers are female:
10. Picky, picky, picky.
9. They hear what you say, but not what you mean.
8. Beauty is only shell deep.
7. When you ask what's wrong, they say "nothing".
6. Can produce incorrect results with alarming speed.
5. Always turning simple statements into big productions.
4. Small talk is important.
3. You do the same thing for years, and suddenly it's wrong.
2. They make you take the garbage out.
1. Miss a period and they go wild.
10. They have a lot of data but are still clueless
9. A better model is always just around the corner.
8. They look nice and shinny until you bring them home.
7. It is always necessary to have a backup.
6. They'll do whatever you say if you push the right buttons.
5. The best part of having either one is the games you can play.
4. In order to get their attention, you have to turn them on.
3. The lights are on the but nobody home.
2. Big power surges knock them out for the night.
1. Size does matter.
Here the quid pro quo:
TOP 10 reasons compilers are female:
10. Picky, picky, picky.
9. They hear what you say, but not what you mean.
8. Beauty is only shell deep.
7. When you ask what's wrong, they say "nothing".
6. Can produce incorrect results with alarming speed.
5. Always turning simple statements into big productions.
4. Small talk is important.
3. You do the same thing for years, and suddenly it's wrong.
2. They make you take the garbage out.
1. Miss a period and they go wild.
hahahahahaha, man thats awesome
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#15
Thorian
- Pirate Medic
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Reputation: 22
- Posts: 5,904
- Joined: 06-June 02
Re: Funny... but old jokes
Posted 30 November 2003 - 05:13 PM
skyhawk133, on Nov 28 2003, 02:05 PM, said:
If restaurant functions like PC Support Group)
Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be
the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.
.......
Patron: No, it's still there.
Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork
instead.
.......
Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl;
what kind of bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem; how was the
bowl set up?
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in
my soup?!
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your
soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?
Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is recooked every hour.
Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?
Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.
Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late now.
Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and
the check)
Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.
Patron: This is potato soup.
Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup isn't ready yet.
Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.
(Waiter leaves.)
Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!
(The check:)
Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . . . . $2.50
Access to support . . . . . . . . . . . ..$1.00
Patron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be
the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.
.......
Patron: No, it's still there.
Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork
instead.
.......
Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl;
what kind of bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem; how was the
bowl set up?
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in
my soup?!
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your
soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?
Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is recooked every hour.
Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?
Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.
Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late now.
Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and
the check)
Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.
Patron: This is potato soup.
Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup isn't ready yet.
Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.
(Waiter leaves.)
Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!
(The check:)
Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . . . . $5.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . . . . $2.50
Access to support . . . . . . . . . . . ..$1.00
That is nice for the morons umm end users. HOwever it is more like this
id10t: there is a fly in my soup
Waiter: Let me take a look at that problem....Sir there does not appear to be a fly in your soup there is a squashed fly on your glasses. Clean them and enjoy your soup.
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