Thanks for the help its fixed i didnt even think about checking to see if godaddy would allow it turns out they dont.
So this is not a great way to do it but for a quick fix until i can get time to do it properly it works. I made a google apps account and setup domain email on it and changed my MX records but still it wouldnt connect.
i ended up just making a personal account and adding my domain email as the allies.
Then setup the basic gmail settings in the config's and its all good probably not a good way to do it but it works and i dont send mass emails

Well the email is through them the website is being hosted from my vps (different company) with xampp I would host the website with them as well but they wont let my php scripts connect to the database's on the vps and i cant setup the database on their hosting since im running a game server and it would still need to connect to the database and the servers console which they wont allow either I've already called and talked with them....So everything i need is setup on the vps and is working except the email. The only reason i mentioned godaddy was because i was trying to use there smtp and pop. I tried to configure mercury on the vps which is totally not working but most of my experience with web hosting was never server side...really i guess all i need is a guide or anything that could tell me how to config the php mail i would like to avoid setting up mercury if possible