A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They turned
on a night light, turned on the phone answering machine, covered their
pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. They phoned the local cab
company and requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and the couple opened
the front door to leave their house. The cat they had put out into the yard
scoots back into the house. They don't want the cat shut in the house because
she always tries to eat the bird. The wife goes out to the taxi while the
husband goes inside to get the cat. The cat runs upstairs, the man in
hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, the wife doesn't want the driver to
know the house will be empty for the night. She explains to the driver that
her husband will be out soon. "He's just going upstairs to say
good-bye to my mother."

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab." Sorry I took so
long", he says as they drive away. "Stupid bitch was hiding under the
bed. Had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to
take off so I grabbed her by the neck. Then I had to wrap her in a blanket
to keep her from scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her fat ass
downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"

The cabdriver hit a parked car...