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PEOPLE WONDER WHY THE CALL CENTRE GUYS R PAID
SO MUCH...... FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE.
TAKE A LOOK:
1 ) Tech Support : "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer : "Ok."
Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up
menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up
until
this point?"
Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote
'click'."
----------------------------------------
2) Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am
still getting the same error message."
Tech Support : "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
--------------------------------------------------
3)Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support : "Tell me what you've done."
Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech Support : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it
says."
Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery
disk'."
Tech Support : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer : "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."
--------------------------------------------------
4).Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)
--------------------------------------------------
5).Tech Support : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the
screen,
canyou see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
Tech support : ##### ***
--------------------------------------------------
6) Tech Support : "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer : "A white one."
Tech support : ******_____####
--------------------------------------------------
7). Tech Support : "What operating system are you running?"
Customer : "Pentium."
Tech support : ////-----+++
--------------------------------------------------
8). Customer : "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal
abortion."
Tech support : ??????
--------------------------------------------------
9).Cus tomer : "I have Microsoft Exploder."
Tech Support : ?!%#$
--------------------------------------------------
10).Customer : "How do I print my voicemail?"
Tech support : ??????
--------------------------------------------------
11). Customer : "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need
to
print document, but the computer won't
boot
properly."
Tech Support : "What does it say?"
Customer : "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support : "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel
inside."
Tech support : @@@@@
--------------------------------------------------
12). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're
open
24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
--------------------------------------------------
13). Tech Support : "What does the screen say now?"
Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support : "Well?"
Customer : "How do I know when it's ready?"
Tech support : *** ---- ++++
--------------------------------------------------
The best of the lot
14). A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to
report
that his computer is faulty.
Tech: What's the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: (keep quite)
Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the
startup
and it will fix the
problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
Tech support:: 10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he
is
right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.
Tech support::(hush hush)
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but
there
is an undocumented DOS
command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM <http://nosmoke.com/>
at
the end of the
CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User : It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User : MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech : That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't
come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will
give you the file.
Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User : I need a new power supply.
Tech support : How did you come to that conclusion?
Tech support : (hush hush)
User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said,
and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with
NOSMOKE.
-------------------------------------------------
Height Of all (Too Good)
15) customer care officer : I need a product identification number
right now and may I help u in finding it out?
Cust: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?
Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?
--
"You should not be TECHNICAL, But you should be SOUND MINDED"
--
SO MUCH...... FOR JUST BEING ON THE PHONE.
TAKE A LOOK:
1 ) Tech Support : "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer : "Ok."
Tech Support : "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up
menu?"
Customer : "No."
Tech Support : "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up
until
this point?"
Customer : "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote
'click'."
----------------------------------------
2) Customer : "I received the software update you sent, but I am
still getting the same error message."
Tech Support : "Did you install the update?"
Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?"
--------------------------------------------------
3)Customer : "I'm having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
Tech Support : "Tell me what you've done."
Customer : "I typed 'A: SETUP'."
Tech Support : "Ma'am, remove the disk and tell me what it
says."
Customer : "It says '[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery
disk'."
Tech Support : "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
Customer : "What?"
Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
Customer: "No..."
--------------------------------------------------
4).Customer : "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
Tech Support : ?!%#$ (welll pretend to smile)
--------------------------------------------------
5).Tech Support : "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the
screen,
canyou see the 'OK' button displayed?"
Customer : "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
Tech support : ##### ***
--------------------------------------------------
6) Tech Support : "What type of computer do you have?"
Customer : "A white one."
Tech support : ******_____####
--------------------------------------------------
7). Tech Support : "What operating system are you running?"
Customer : "Pentium."
Tech support : ////-----+++
--------------------------------------------------
8). Customer : "My computer's telling me I performed an illegal
abortion."
Tech support : ??????
--------------------------------------------------
9).Cus tomer : "I have Microsoft Exploder."
Tech Support : ?!%#$
--------------------------------------------------
10).Customer : "How do I print my voicemail?"
Tech support : ??????
--------------------------------------------------
11). Customer : "You've got to fix my computer. I urgently need
to
print document, but the computer won't
boot
properly."
Tech Support : "What does it say?"
Customer : "Something about an error and non-system disk."
Tech Support : "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
Customer : "No, but there's a sticker saying there's an Intel
inside."
Tech support : @@@@@
--------------------------------------------------
12). Tech Support: "Just call us back if there's a problem. We're
open
24 hours."
Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
--------------------------------------------------
13). Tech Support : "What does the screen say now?"
Customer : "It says, 'Hit ENTER when ready'."
Tech Support : "Well?"
Customer : "How do I know when it's ready?"
Tech support : *** ---- ++++
--------------------------------------------------
The best of the lot
14). A plain computer illiterate guy rings tech support to
report
that his computer is faulty.
Tech: What's the problem?
User: There is smoke coming out of the power supply.
Tech: (keep quite)
Tech: You'll need a new power supply.
User: No, I don't! I just need to change the startup files.
Tech: Sir, the power supply is faulty. You'll need to replace it.
User: No way! Someone told me that I just needed to change the
startup
and it will fix the
problem! All I need is for you to tell me the command.
Tech support:: 10 minutes later, the User is still adamant that he
is
right. The tech is frustrated and fed up.
Tech support::(hush hush)
Tech: Sorry, Sir. We don't normally tell our customers this, but
there
is an undocumented DOS
command that will fix the problem.
User: I knew it!
Tech : Just add the line LOAD NOSMOKE.COM <http://nosmoke.com/>
at
the end of the
CONFIG.SYS. Let me know how it goes.
10 minutes later.
User : It didn't work. The power supply is still smoking.
Tech : Well, what version of DOS are you using?
User : MS-DOS 6.22.
Tech : That's your problem there. That version of DOS didn't
come with NOSMOKE. Contact Microsoft and ask them for a patch that will
give you the file.
Let me know how it goes.
1 hour later.
User : I need a new power supply.
Tech support : How did you come to that conclusion?
Tech support : (hush hush)
User : Well, I rang Microsoft and told him about what you said,
and he started asking questions about the make of power supply.
Tech: Then what did he say?
User: He told me that my power supply isn't compatible with
NOSMOKE.
-------------------------------------------------
Height Of all (Too Good)
15) customer care officer : I need a product identification number
right now and may I help u in finding it out?
Cust: sure
CCO: could u left click on start and do u find 'My Computer'?
Cust: I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?
--
"You should not be TECHNICAL, But you should be SOUND MINDED"
--
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3 Comments On This Entry
Page 1 of 1
unreal_origin
14 July 2006 - 07:40 AM
Though those are most likely very true. Tech support is usually stupid. I have phoned them, more or less to complain about the stupidity of the product, and many of the times they start saying stuff like "Oh i am sorry sir It is really staticy you are breaking up, (hangs up phone)" or other stupid things like that.
In conclusion I HATE TECH SUPPORT, they are not knowledgeable for the people who know what they are doing. All they can really do is tell you how to restart your computer and other stupid things
In conclusion I HATE TECH SUPPORT, they are not knowledgeable for the people who know what they are doing. All they can really do is tell you how to restart your computer and other stupid things
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