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The hero of the story starts his training and gets discouraged.

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Before I start, I was not saying that I'm any kind of hero or anything along those likes. I was imagining a character from some high-fantasy novel on the "Supernatural Aid" step of the Monomyth and using it as a very loose analogy to my current situation.

I am nearing the end of my core classes at DATC. I've got 'Software Development Fundamentals' and one or two classes on job-searching and ethics I believe. I enrolled in the Software Development Fundamentals class today, and it starts tomorrow. While I'm extremely excited, I'm also nervous about whether or not I'll be able to handle it. I think that comes from trying to hold myself to such a high standard when it comes to the level of my comprehension and quality of my work. I feel like I've got to understand everything I use and work with down to the pixel, which is very time-consuming and can possibly be detrimental. The tradeoff is that I'll actually understand what I'm doing rather than just following steps that I memorized. Whatever happens, though, I'm going to forge onward and learn from mistakes that I make and try to learn from other peoples' as well.

On the slightly blue side of things, I started work on a GDD with my friend. The game is basically an open-world sprite-based randomly-generated RPG. Sound familiar? Yeah, I thought so too. He's making an online multiplayer game, but the basics are essentially identical to what I have been wanting to make. I can't help but feel like my game will be inferior in every aspect. He's been programing since he was like 13, I want to say. He's pushed himself to be able to understand machine code to an extent, and he's learned at least two programming languages (in addition to the one he's been making for himself). This is an extremely discouraging thought, and the first I've had in a while. Everything two months ago seemed a really achievable, but I realize now that it's going to be ages before I gain enough experience to be able to program as though it were second nature in the way that I want. I think that my favorite quote applies here.

"We keep moving forward, opening new doors, and doing new things, because we're curious and curiosity keeps leading us down new paths." - Walt Disney

I'll just keep moving forward and not worry about things I can't change while working on those that I can.

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May 2018

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