New Topic/Question
supersloth, on 18 Aug, 2009 - 12:57 PM, said:
the only way I would have anything do with it, is if I quoted the post, you fucking moron.
This post pertains to my interests.
38 Replies - 2075 Views - Last Post: 22 August 2009 - 10:17 PM
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#32
absynthe
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Re: I don't understand...
Posted 21 August 2009 - 12:07 PM
CamoDeveloper, on 17 Aug, 2009 - 10:55 PM, said:
I'm just in a "I don't know" mood right now and I just don't understand why things are happening like they are. So please don't think I'm complaining or whining or looking for attention, I just have to get it out somehow. Sorry if you read this.
Why does it seem like no matter how hard I try, nothing seems to go the way I want? I stress myself out over how I'm going to get things accomplished but just because I don't show it doesn't mean I don't care or don't think about it. Things impact me harder than most people realize, but everything gets overlooked except for the way I react. I don't react like most people, I hold it in and deal with internally, even if it kills me. But all of that is overlooked and gets put down to "He just doesn't know" or "He is just too young to understand". But I do, I do understand, why does my age have to be the deciding factor of this and not my mental capabilities? I know what I want out of life, and I'm going to get it, but it doesn't help when the people around you are unknowingly putting you down because of your age. I know I'm just a 19 year old, but that doesn't have to be the limit. I know I make stupid decisions but it's because in my mind I have a mini panic attack and my brain goes into that instinctive 19 year mode. Also, why does it have to be so dramatic when I make a mistake or a stupid decision? Everyone does throughout their life, but they hardly get noticed, yet mine gets blown out of proportion. People keep telling me that I need to open up, but they just don't realize that every time I do open up I get hurt so bad, so deep it hits the core and destroys me. I try so hard, as hard as I can, to make everyone happy around me even though I'm hurting inside. But that isn't even good enough, I'm always the one to blame no matter how nice, or calm I am toward someone and often called an asshole. I try to be what everyone wants me to be or do the things they want me to do, but it's exhausting, I'm literally exhausted each and every day because I try to look my best in everyone's eyes. This is the reason why I can't talk or open up with my parents, I feel like I let them down or am not good enough for them. When I do try to talk to them about something, it always goes from me telling them what happened or what is going on to them putting words in my mouth and I can't deny it or I'm lying. I'm told I hear only what I want to hear, but that isn't true, I think it's the other way around. It's always dwelling in the past for them, not what is happening now. It's always harping on things things that I could of done, or should of done, not what I did do and help me work through that. They base their entire conversation on my actions in the past, not the present. I'm told I am clearly not capable of doing this or that, or that I wasn't planning on doing something since I wasn't/didn't do it back then. I try fighting it, but it seems like their eyes and ears are closed to anything else and it's all a lie. When we do end up in a conversation, I tend not to say anything because I just want it to be over with. I get tired of it so I tend not to talk to them about personal things but yet again, I'm the bad person for not talking to them. It hurts, it really does hurt not being able to talk to my parents, but it doesn't hurt as much as when the conversation is over...
Sorry for the rant
~Camo
Why does it seem like no matter how hard I try, nothing seems to go the way I want? I stress myself out over how I'm going to get things accomplished but just because I don't show it doesn't mean I don't care or don't think about it. Things impact me harder than most people realize, but everything gets overlooked except for the way I react. I don't react like most people, I hold it in and deal with internally, even if it kills me. But all of that is overlooked and gets put down to "He just doesn't know" or "He is just too young to understand". But I do, I do understand, why does my age have to be the deciding factor of this and not my mental capabilities? I know what I want out of life, and I'm going to get it, but it doesn't help when the people around you are unknowingly putting you down because of your age. I know I'm just a 19 year old, but that doesn't have to be the limit. I know I make stupid decisions but it's because in my mind I have a mini panic attack and my brain goes into that instinctive 19 year mode. Also, why does it have to be so dramatic when I make a mistake or a stupid decision? Everyone does throughout their life, but they hardly get noticed, yet mine gets blown out of proportion. People keep telling me that I need to open up, but they just don't realize that every time I do open up I get hurt so bad, so deep it hits the core and destroys me. I try so hard, as hard as I can, to make everyone happy around me even though I'm hurting inside. But that isn't even good enough, I'm always the one to blame no matter how nice, or calm I am toward someone and often called an asshole. I try to be what everyone wants me to be or do the things they want me to do, but it's exhausting, I'm literally exhausted each and every day because I try to look my best in everyone's eyes. This is the reason why I can't talk or open up with my parents, I feel like I let them down or am not good enough for them. When I do try to talk to them about something, it always goes from me telling them what happened or what is going on to them putting words in my mouth and I can't deny it or I'm lying. I'm told I hear only what I want to hear, but that isn't true, I think it's the other way around. It's always dwelling in the past for them, not what is happening now. It's always harping on things things that I could of done, or should of done, not what I did do and help me work through that. They base their entire conversation on my actions in the past, not the present. I'm told I am clearly not capable of doing this or that, or that I wasn't planning on doing something since I wasn't/didn't do it back then. I try fighting it, but it seems like their eyes and ears are closed to anything else and it's all a lie. When we do end up in a conversation, I tend not to say anything because I just want it to be over with. I get tired of it so I tend not to talk to them about personal things but yet again, I'm the bad person for not talking to them. It hurts, it really does hurt not being able to talk to my parents, but it doesn't hurt as much as when the conversation is over...
Sorry for the rant
~Camo
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#34
mostyfriedman
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Re: I don't understand...
Posted 21 August 2009 - 12:50 PM
Gloin, on 21 Aug, 2009 - 11:47 AM, said:
Nooooo!! Elmooooo!!!
the cookie monster is next
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#35
BenignDesign
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Re: I don't understand...
Posted 21 August 2009 - 03:58 PM
No! Keep the Cookie Monster! Hang the big freak of a bird!
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#37
bgonzales999
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Re: I don't understand...
Posted 22 August 2009 - 12:38 PM
Nikhil_07n, on 18 Aug, 2009 - 06:35 AM, said:
Quote
sometimes you should have a "fuck it" attitude.
This always works.
Right on, and don't always try to be the happy one that never gets bothered by anything. You're human enjoy it.
This post has been edited by bgonzales999: 22 August 2009 - 12:43 PM
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#38
WolfCoder
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Re: I don't understand...
Posted 22 August 2009 - 02:18 PM
CamoDeveloper, on 17 Aug, 2009 - 09:55 PM, said:
I'm just in a "I don't know" mood right now and I just don't understand why things are happening like they are. So please don't think I'm complaining or whining or looking for attention, I just have to get it out somehow. Sorry if you read this.
Why does it seem like no matter how hard I try, nothing seems to go the way I want? I stress myself out over how I'm going to get things accomplished but just because I don't show it doesn't mean I don't care or don't think about it. Things impact me harder than most people realize, but everything gets overlooked except for the way I react. I don't react like most people, I hold it in and deal with internally, even if it kills me. But all of that is overlooked and gets put down to "He just doesn't know" or "He is just too young to understand". But I do, I do understand, why does my age have to be the deciding factor of this and not my mental capabilities? I know what I want out of life, and I'm going to get it, but it doesn't help when the people around you are unknowingly putting you down because of your age. I know I'm just a 19 year old, but that doesn't have to be the limit. I know I make stupid decisions but it's because in my mind I have a mini panic attack and my brain goes into that instinctive 19 year mode. Also, why does it have to be so dramatic when I make a mistake or a stupid decision? Everyone does throughout their life, but they hardly get noticed, yet mine gets blown out of proportion. People keep telling me that I need to open up, but they just don't realize that every time I do open up I get hurt so bad, so deep it hits the core and destroys me. I try so hard, as hard as I can, to make everyone happy around me even though I'm hurting inside. But that isn't even good enough, I'm always the one to blame no matter how nice, or calm I am toward someone and often called an asshole. I try to be what everyone wants me to be or do the things they want me to do, but it's exhausting, I'm literally exhausted each and every day because I try to look my best in everyone's eyes. This is the reason why I can't talk or open up with my parents, I feel like I let them down or am not good enough for them. When I do try to talk to them about something, it always goes from me telling them what happened or what is going on to them putting words in my mouth and I can't deny it or I'm lying. I'm told I hear only what I want to hear, but that isn't true, I think it's the other way around. It's always dwelling in the past for them, not what is happening now. It's always harping on things things that I could of done, or should of done, not what I did do and help me work through that. They base their entire conversation on my actions in the past, not the present. I'm told I am clearly not capable of doing this or that, or that I wasn't planning on doing something since I wasn't/didn't do it back then. I try fighting it, but it seems like their eyes and ears are closed to anything else and it's all a lie. When we do end up in a conversation, I tend not to say anything because I just want it to be over with. I get tired of it so I tend not to talk to them about personal things but yet again, I'm the bad person for not talking to them. It hurts, it really does hurt not being able to talk to my parents, but it doesn't hurt as much as when the conversation is over...
Sorry for the rant
~Camo
Why does it seem like no matter how hard I try, nothing seems to go the way I want? I stress myself out over how I'm going to get things accomplished but just because I don't show it doesn't mean I don't care or don't think about it. Things impact me harder than most people realize, but everything gets overlooked except for the way I react. I don't react like most people, I hold it in and deal with internally, even if it kills me. But all of that is overlooked and gets put down to "He just doesn't know" or "He is just too young to understand". But I do, I do understand, why does my age have to be the deciding factor of this and not my mental capabilities? I know what I want out of life, and I'm going to get it, but it doesn't help when the people around you are unknowingly putting you down because of your age. I know I'm just a 19 year old, but that doesn't have to be the limit. I know I make stupid decisions but it's because in my mind I have a mini panic attack and my brain goes into that instinctive 19 year mode. Also, why does it have to be so dramatic when I make a mistake or a stupid decision? Everyone does throughout their life, but they hardly get noticed, yet mine gets blown out of proportion. People keep telling me that I need to open up, but they just don't realize that every time I do open up I get hurt so bad, so deep it hits the core and destroys me. I try so hard, as hard as I can, to make everyone happy around me even though I'm hurting inside. But that isn't even good enough, I'm always the one to blame no matter how nice, or calm I am toward someone and often called an asshole. I try to be what everyone wants me to be or do the things they want me to do, but it's exhausting, I'm literally exhausted each and every day because I try to look my best in everyone's eyes. This is the reason why I can't talk or open up with my parents, I feel like I let them down or am not good enough for them. When I do try to talk to them about something, it always goes from me telling them what happened or what is going on to them putting words in my mouth and I can't deny it or I'm lying. I'm told I hear only what I want to hear, but that isn't true, I think it's the other way around. It's always dwelling in the past for them, not what is happening now. It's always harping on things things that I could of done, or should of done, not what I did do and help me work through that. They base their entire conversation on my actions in the past, not the present. I'm told I am clearly not capable of doing this or that, or that I wasn't planning on doing something since I wasn't/didn't do it back then. I try fighting it, but it seems like their eyes and ears are closed to anything else and it's all a lie. When we do end up in a conversation, I tend not to say anything because I just want it to be over with. I get tired of it so I tend not to talk to them about personal things but yet again, I'm the bad person for not talking to them. It hurts, it really does hurt not being able to talk to my parents, but it doesn't hurt as much as when the conversation is over...
Sorry for the rant
~Camo
Thorian, on 19 Aug, 2009 - 09:59 AM, said:
supersloth, on 18 Aug, 2009 - 12:57 PM, said:
the only way I would have anything do with it, is if I quoted the post, you fucking moron.
This post pertains to my interests.
Quote
sometimes you should have a "fuck it" attitude.
This post has been edited by WolfCoder: 22 August 2009 - 02:20 PM
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#39
OliveOyl3471
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Re: I don't understand...
Posted 22 August 2009 - 10:17 PM
bgonzales999, on 22 Aug, 2009 - 02:38 PM, said:
don't always try to be the happy one that never gets bothered by anything. You're human enjoy it.
Yes. Enjoy being unhappy. Happiness is for losers!
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