[skyhawk133]

Genesis 1 - Old Testament

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Boreded Ceiling Cat makinkgz Urf n stuffs

Audio Version (courtesy von Kempelen)

1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.

2 Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.

3 At start, no has lyte. An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.4 An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stuffs, An splitted teh lite from dark but taht wuz ok cuz kittehs can see in teh dark An not tripz over nethin.5 An Ceiling Cat sayed light Day An dark no Day. It were FURST!!!1

6 An Ceiling Cat sayed, im in ur waterz makin a ceiling. But he no yet make a ur. An he maded a hole in teh Ceiling.7 An Ceiling Cat doed the skiez with waterz down An waterz up. It happen.8 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has teh firmmint wich iz funny bibel naim 4 ceiling, so wuz teh twoth day.

HAHAHAH INVISIBLE BIKE!!!!!

[DilutedImage]

PsychoCoder, on 13 Nov, 2007 - 02:41 PM, said:

Calling someone ignorant because they believe different than you do is ignorant itself, so your ignorance is appalling as well

I didn't call you ignorant because you believe different than I do. I called you ignorant because of this statement:

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They use the Bible as an excuse to not have to take responsibility for their actions, they use it done they don't have to formulate any educated, self thought out idea or opinion.

You've made an assumption as to the thoughts/motivations of others, without yourself even understanding their beliefs. That is ignorant.

[skyhawk133]

Da burth of Jesuz Christ

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18 Now, teh burth of teh Christ was liek dis: After Marry and Joseph waz all "We's gonna get marrieded, kthnx", but before dey could had hankiez pankiez Mary was all pr3ggerz from Teh Forse.19 Joseph was liek "I has virjn - NOOOO dey be stealin my virjn! Must hied hur".20 But when he was tihnkin, zomg, a WallCat frm Ceiling Cat was liek, "Oh hai! I'm in ur dreemz, givin u messij. Don't be scairdy cat. Take Mary as ur wife - is virjn. But teh Forse is strong in tihs wun, lol! HoverCat is on hur, givn hur feetus, srsly.21 "And she gonna made a son, and you gonna call him Jeezus, cuz he save kittehs frum bein bad kittehs. Kthxbye."22 So all dis was all did cuz Ceiling Cat had sed it wud be. His proffet was all liek:23 "Hay guise, look! teh virjn iz all preggers, and dey gonna call him Immanuel", dat be joospeek for "Ceiling Cat wit us"24 Then Joseph waked up, done wat teh angel frm Ceiling Cat tolded him to, and was all liek "U wit me now lol" at Mary.25 And dey didnt has teh HARBL GOES WHERE!?!? til affer dey gets a son and calleded him Jeezus. Ktnx.

"Hay guise, look! teh virjn iz all preggers, and dey gonna call him Immanuel"

HAHAHAHAH!@

[WolfCoder]

skyhawk133, on 13 Nov, 2007 - 02:57 PM, said:

Da burth of Jesuz Christ

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18 Now, teh burth of teh Christ was liek dis: After Marry and Joseph waz all "We's gonna get marrieded, kthnx", but before dey could had hankiez pankiez Mary was all pr3ggerz from Teh Forse.19 Joseph was liek "I has virjn - NOOOO dey be stealin my virjn! Must hied hur".20 But when he was tihnkin, zomg, a WallCat frm Ceiling Cat was liek, "Oh hai! I'm in ur dreemz, givin u messij. Don't be scairdy cat. Take Mary as ur wife - is virjn. But teh Forse is strong in tihs wun, lol! HoverCat is on hur, givn hur feetus, srsly.21 "And she gonna made a son, and you gonna call him Jeezus, cuz he save kittehs frum bein bad kittehs. Kthxbye."22 So all dis was all did cuz Ceiling Cat had sed it wud be. His proffet was all liek:23 "Hay guise, look! teh virjn iz all preggers, and dey gonna call him Immanuel", dat be joospeek for "Ceiling Cat wit us"24 Then Joseph waked up, done wat teh angel frm Ceiling Cat tolded him to, and was all liek "U wit me now lol" at Mary.25 And dey didnt has teh HARBL GOES WHERE!?!? til affer dey gets a son and calleded him Jeezus. Ktnx.

"Hay guise, look! teh virjn iz all preggers, and dey gonna call him Immanuel"

HAHAHAHAH!@

No Wai teh Bible roxorz.

Holy Ceiling Cat





is Holy.

This post has been edited by WolfCoder: 13 November 2007 - 02:59 PM

[DilutedImage]

PsychoCoder, on 13 Nov, 2007 - 02:44 PM, said:

Tell you what, why don't you prove even a single statement in the book called the Bible, beyond a shadow of a doubt, leaving absolutely zero room for dispute. Then when you are finished with that, if in fact you can even come close, then I will take on your challenge

I thought you'd never ask.

I've got to work right now, but we'll later be discussing the six-day war of 1967. And if you're not satisfied with that, then we can continue on with Israel's re-establishment as a nation in 1948. And if you're still not happy, then we can continue on with something else.

skyhawk133, on 13 Nov, 2007 - 02:42 PM, said:

http://lolcatbible.c...title=Main_Page

Matthew 6:13 - "Foosball is teh debil." ... Too funny!

[skyhawk133]

How about you start with how god created the earth and everything on it in 7 days. Let's prove that one for starters... just saying.

[jjhaag]

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Though not directed at the Christian God specifically, Dark_Nexus denounces any God in post #13, when stating "nobody has the answers past this life, only best guesses, and to claim you do sounds pretty ridiculous to me."

That's not a denouncement of God. That's a criticism of you.

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And yes, I'm sure a great number of people here could make educated arguments against what the bible says - as have a great number of theologists and religious leaders.

I've yet to find a single person that can disprove anything stated in the bible. Sure, I've heard some pretty wild theories, but nothing that holds any real weight.

The bible is the textual embodiment of a faith, and as such can neither be proven or disproven in the classical sense. An educated argument against particular statements in the bible has nothing to do with proof or disproof. For instance, if I adhere to a humanist philosophy and tell you that all humans (regardless of the belief system they subscribe to) have a fundamental value and a right to life, that doesn't disprove that the bible states you should stone to death all individuals who believe in something other than the Christian God:

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Deuteronomy 17:2-5
If there be found among you ... that ... hath gone and served other gods, and worshipped them ... Then shalt thou ... stone them with stones, till they die.

Your belief in the statements made in the bible is not wrong, it's just in contradiction of an alternative school of thought.

This post has been edited by jjhaag: 13 November 2007 - 03:22 PM

[DilutedImage]

skyhawk133, on 13 Nov, 2007 - 03:16 PM, said:

How about you start with how god created the earth and everything on it in 7 days. Let's prove that one for starters... just saying.

That one requires belief in what the bible says. Not everything can be proved without a doubt; science hasn't caught up yet. Many things can though, and nothing has been disproved. After reading/researching enough, it's hard not to believe what the bible says. There's just too much proof.

The "Big Bang Theory" certainly supports the rapid creation though.

[jjhaag]

Thought you had to go work .

And no, the big bang theory doesn't support "rapid creation," at least not for the earth, which is what skyhawk mentioned. It took about 4.5 billion years to create the earth...unless you can disprove that figure.

[supersloth]

DilutedImage, on 13 Nov, 2007 - 02:33 PM, said:

supersloth, on 13 Nov, 2007 - 02:27 PM, said:

DilutedImage, on 13 Nov, 2007 - 02:21 PM, said:

jjhaag, on 13 Nov, 2007 - 01:46 PM, said:

And yes, I'm sure a great number of people here could make educated arguments against what the bible says - as have a great number of theologists and religious leaders.

I've yet to find a single person that can disprove anything stated in the bible. Sure, I've heard some pretty wild theories, but nothing that holds any real weight.

gosh, maybe because the bible is the text of a faith and disproving it doesn't even really matter (and is pretty much impossible by definition). that's the whole point right?

Clearly you've never read it. There's more scientific and historic evidence to backup the events/claims of the bible than there are any other historic events.

In fact, I challenge anyone to truly disprove even one statement in the bible. If you can, then I will publicly apologize for everything I've said.

EDIT: Any statement in it's intended context.

I don't get it, why would you ever need to apologize for faith? This all blows my mind about how everyone is so defensive and offensive about all of this bullshit. Who cares. Live your faith like the faith that it is, and quite trying to prove and disprove it. I do not believe, I never will, but I seem to get understand this conceit much more than 99% of people of faith I have ever met.

Oh, and yes, I have read the bible enough to realize that I don't believe it. That's enough for me. Why can't the fact that you do be enough for you?

[DilutedImage]

jjhaag, on 13 Nov, 2007 - 03:19 PM, said:

The bible is the textual embodiment of a faith, and as such can neither be proven or disproven in the classical sense. An educated argument against particular statements in the bible has nothing to do with proof or disproof. For instance, if I adhere to a humanist philosophy and tell you that all humans (regardless of the belief system they subscribe to) have a fundamental value and a right to life, that doesn't disprove that the bible states you should stone to death all individuals who believe in something other than the Christian God:

Quote

Deuteronomy 17:2-5
If there be found among you ... that ... hath gone and served other gods, and worshipped them ... Then shalt thou ... stone them with stones, till they die.

Your belief in the statements made in the bible is not wrong, it's just in contradiction of an alternative school of thought.

That's quite a carefully-spliced summary of those 4 verses. Perhaps you should read it in it's entirety, and in context. Not only is it directed at a select group of people, within a select region, but "the law" was fulfilled with the crucifixion of Christ, rendering it irrelevant to modern times.

[jjhaag]

Well said, sloth.

This post has been edited by jjhaag: 14 November 2007 - 12:28 PM

[DilutedImage]

jjhaag, on 13 Nov, 2007 - 03:28 PM, said:

Thought you had to go work .

I do have to work, but every time I post there's ten more posts to reply to.

jjhaag, on 13 Nov, 2007 - 03:28 PM, said:

And no, the big bang theory doesn't support "rapid creation," at least not for the earth, which is what skyhawk mentioned. It took about 4.5 billion years to create the earth...unless you can disprove that figure.

What theories are that 4.5 billion year estimate based on? I'd be happy to pick them apart.

[supersloth]

radiometric dating

[skyhawk133]

Sounds like a fun evening.