[BenignDesign]

My best friend was in the ER all night last night with chest pains radiating into her jaw and back. Her bloodwork and tests all came back okay, but it made for a long night. So much for the sleep I caught up on over the weekend. Don't get old, kids.

[jon.kiparsky]

Definitely get old.

[NeoTifa]

I'm going to become immortal, or die trying.

[modi123_1]

Me thinks a "product manager" is about to get a slap down. Super testy, beyond needed, emails are flowing from that fount and not going over well.

[TechnoBear]

So, I got a long weekend being off Wednesday-Sunday. Monday was a nightmare because I came in to an entire page of showstoppers...

In actual important news, my girlfriend's trip to Chicago without me went swimmingly so that is good - however the test results came back and it is very not good. They are going to try and fix it with surgery as he insurance is not particularly fond of any other avenue. Kid's case worker came by last night and, no joke, we were seriously considering sending him back with her until maybe 30 seconds before we opened the door to let her in and changed our minds.

The 4th was a shit show, first 4th of July I have missed in the decade i have lived in this country and first 4th of July my girlfriend has missed in her entire life. Courtesy of a kid that couldn't handle doing anything he was told and we couldn't justify taking him to a park filled with 100s of people if we would be unable to control him enough to keep an eye on him.

[h4nnib4l]

Sorry for all your troubles, Techno.

While I'm no expert in child psychology, especially that of children with his background, I can't help but suspect that you're pushing up against the boundaries of when he expects to be "given away" again, and his behavior is degenerating accordingly. If he never sticks in a home, then he probably doesn't know how to develop into a relationship with parents beyond the initial stages.

I can't imagine trying to deal with that on top of your SO's situation, but whatever the two of you choose, you're saints for investing in him.

This post has been edited by h4nnib4l: 09 July 2019 - 10:04 AM

[TechnoBear]

We've decided we are just going to take the beatings, so to speak. Like you said, he needs people that aren't going to give up on him no matter how hard it gets (and it gets hard, let me tell you). Ultimately though, both my SO and myself needed people in our lives when we were kids to not give up on us and they did. It took a long time for us to fix what was broken in us because of that and so we got in to this to be the people that don't give up, so these kids don't have to spend 3 decades, alone, piecing themselves back together again.

[jon.kiparsky]

Yowch, that's a hard one to cope with. I agree with B9, it sounds like a self-reinforcing cycle that's going to take a lot of love and a lot of energy to break out of. It sounds like you've got it in you, but it's going to be tough. How's your support network? Do you have folks around you who are willing to be patient listeners? Is your work aware of the situation?

Sounds like the sort of situation where you really want lots of communication going on.

[jon.kiparsky]

TechnoBear, on 09 July 2019 - 12:15 PM, said:

It took a long time for us to fix what was broken in us because of that and so we got in to this to be the people that don't give up, so these kids don't have to spend 3 decades, alone, piecing themselves back together again.

Whatever was broken that you put back together over that time, it sounds like you put it back together really good.

[astonecipher]

You are to be commended Techno! And you know how to get a hold of me if you need support that I can offer.

[TechnoBear]

jon.kiparsky, on 09 July 2019 - 11:33 AM, said:

How's your support network?

Lacking, as we are a minimum of an hour from any friends and neither of us have family, but there is a local support group that we are planning to go to that meets once a month so hopefully we can gather people through that.

jon.kiparsky, on 09 July 2019 - 11:33 AM, said:

Do you have folks around you who are willing to be patient listeners?

I have you guys =P In all seriousness though, we have ways to communicate with our friends, they are just not local enough to visit.

jon.kiparsky, on 09 July 2019 - 11:33 AM, said:

Is your work aware of the situation?

They are very aware and are more than willing to allow me any time I need. I work for a non-profit that works to ensure there are educational opportunities available for all children and they prioritize family life over work when it comes to the work/life balance stuff.

[jon.kiparsky]

TechnoBear, on 09 July 2019 - 12:52 PM, said:

I have you guys =P

You do indeed.

Quote

They are very aware and are more than willing to allow me any time I need. I work for a non-profit that works to ensure there are educational opportunities available for all children and they prioritize family life over work when it comes to the work/life balance stuff.

Great to hear! A supportive employer is a real asset in that sort of situation.

[h4nnib4l]

TechnoBear, on 09 July 2019 - 12:52 PM, said:

They are very aware and are more than willing to allow me any time I need.

See, non-contract gigs aren't all bad...

[ArtificialSoldier]

Quote

Me thinks a "product manager" is about to get a slap down. Super testy, beyond needed, emails are flowing from that fount and not going over well.

A certain administrator at the state has decided that their policies are our problem. They tell us to do certain things with their imported data, we do them, the system handles that data like it handles anything else, and that's our fault. They're telling us to complete certifications for everyone, even if they don't have that certification (a certain course should complete a certification from the Dept of Game and Fish, but this person works for the Dept of Corrections, but they told us to complete every certification), then the certifications from other departments expire, their records show expired, and that's our fault. I'm trying to remain civil but I feel like I've had an easier time explaining things to a rock.

[TechnoBear]

h4nnib4l, on 09 July 2019 - 12:33 PM, said:

See, non-contract gigs aren't all bad...

They pay less, but had I taken as much time away from a contract job as I have this one in the past few weeks I would not have a job to be working right now... So, you're not wrong.