[Nikhil_07n]

Bin Laden's son was studing in a school.

Teacher asked him, " I have 4 apples, how can I share it among 5 children"

He answerd, "KILL ONE"

==

Pakistani president Musharraf calls Bush on 11th sept:

Musharraf: Mr President, I would like to express my condolences to you. It is a real tragedy. So many people, such great buildings... I would like to ensure that we had nothing in connection with
that..

Bush: What buildings? What people??

Musharraf: Oh, and what time is it in America now?

Bush: It's eight in the morning.

Musharraf: Oops...Will call back in an hour!

[Bort]

Nikhil_07n, on 8 Aug, 2009 - 01:26 AM, said:

Musharraf: Oops...Will call back in an hour!

I lol'ed at work at this and am now getting funny looks.

[sharpy]

Magic Penis

A businessman was preparing to go on a long business trip, so he thought he'd buy his wife something to keep her occupied. He went to a sex shop and explained his situation. The man there said, 'Well, I don't know that I have anything that will keep her occupied for so many weeks, except... The Magic Penis!'

The husband said, 'The what'?

The man repeated, 'The Magic Penis,' and pulled out what seemed to be an ordinary dildo.

The husband laughed, and said, 'It looks like a
dildo!'

The man then pointed to the door and said, ' Magic Penis, door!'

The penis rose out of its box, darted over to the door and started pounding away at the keyhole. The whole door shook wildly with vibrations, so much so, ; that a crack began to form down the middle. Then the man said, 'Magic Penis, return to box!' and the penis stopped and returned to the box.

The husband bought it and took it home to his wife. After the husband had been gone a few days, the wife remembered the Magic Penis. She undressed, opened the box and
said 'Magic Penis, my crotch.' The penis shot to her crotch. It was absolutely incredible. After three mind shattering orgasms, she became very exhausted and decided she'd had enough. She tried to pull it out, but it was stuck. Her husband had neglected to tell her how to turn it off so she put her clothes on, got in her car and started for the closest hospital.

On the way, another incredibly intense orgasm made her swerve all over the road. A police officer saw this and immediately pulled her over. He asked for her
license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink.

Gasping and twitching, the woman said, 'I haven't had anything to drink officer. You see, I've got this Magic Penis thing stuck in my crotch and it won't stop screwing me.'

The officer looked at her for a second, shook his head and
replied, 'Yeah right... Magic Penis, my arse...!'

The rest, as they say, is history...

This post has been edited by sharpy: 10 August 2009 - 04:59 AM

[sharpy]

A blonde was driving home and got caught in a really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day she took it to a repair shop.. The shop owner saw that she was a blonde, so he decided to have some fun. He told her to go home and blow into the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and still nothing happened. Her blonde roommate saw her and asked, 'What are you doing?' The first blonde told her how the repairman had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes and said, 'Uh, like hello! You need to roll up the windows first.'

[Bort]

Funny

We do have a Jokes thread for these things though

[gabehabe]

I lol'd so hard I choked.

[sharpy]

Sorry for posting as a new thread meant to post in the jokes thread if you can merge or delete it would be much appreciated.

[sharpy]

Sorry for posting a new thread I meant to post in the jokes thread if you can merge or delete it would be much appreciated.

[NeoTifa]

This joke has been posted like 5 times already...

[gawdlike]

And still I have not seen it untill now, it was funny though.

[Bort]

OMG Thread merge spam...

[NeoTifa]

#262417 +(9004)- [X]

<_kr4m3r> so many fucking criminals, its bullshit
<foniks`> heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die
<foniks`> and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?"
<foniks`> whatd u think they'd say?
<FoSZoR[bg]> something along the lines of, "G`Day mate"

[macosxnerd101]

gabehabe, on 10 Aug, 2009 - 06:13 AM, said:

I lol'd so hard I choked.

Given the joke, did you have anything in your mouth at the time?

[P4L]

NeoTifa, on 16 Aug, 2009 - 06:56 PM, said:

#262417 +(9004)- [X]

<_kr4m3r> so many fucking criminals, its bullshit
<foniks`> heh, if we sent all the criminals to some empty continent and just left them there to die
<foniks`> and showed up like 50yrs later like, "sup?"
<foniks`> whatd u think they'd say?
<FoSZoR[bg]> something along the lines of, "G`Day mate"

Mmmm...that sound like AUSTRALIA!!! Hey...wait...I want to move there...I guess I better not knock 'em!!!

[P4L]

A lawyer boarded an airplane in New Orleans with a box of frozen crabs
and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him.

She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He
advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them
staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a
lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out.
Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.

Shortly before landing in New York , she used the intercom to announce
to the entire cabin, "Would the gentleman who gave me the crabs in New
Orleans , please raise your hand?"

Not one hand went up ... so she took them home and ate them.

Two lessons here:

1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.
2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most folks think